Rules for 40 plus Working Mothers

As working women or those who used to work before, now are in transition, for care-giving reasons or for healing their burnout of those hardworking years , finding out the underlying meaning of life and our real role in it, is a journey of ups and downs and relentless experiments.

In this scenario of ‘ If not you, there are hundreds waiting in line for the same job you are doing’ , proving your worth, carving your niche is difficult. It has taken me years of experimenting with different jobs to outline some basic rules for working mothers who are “slightly different” like me and are trying to fit in this ‘one size fits all’ world -

1.Your Boss should always think he/she is smarter than you. You have to play it down, seem unsmart, not too wise and carry an outdated phone.

2.You should never be unconventionally dressed or seem more fashionable than others, your Boss or his wife, for obvious reasons. No workplace wants a fashion forward, well informed, fit woman over forty. The opposite option is most welcome!

3.You should never be organised and systematic in your work. People prefer messy as it makes them look better in comparision.

4.Noone likes those who stand up against unethical behaviour and dare to question it. Everyone prefers those who suffer silently with their head down.

5.You should not have clear work boundaries. You should be willing to stay overnight, be underpaid, take disrespect with a smile, ignore racist behaviour, and be okay with working on the dining table with uncomfortable chairs, for as long as it takes the office to move to the more spacious upper floor, which was promised at the time of your interview. (Especially when the interview happens in a cafe or online, it is easy to mask many a harsh reality of the office!)

6.Your lunch box should never be filled with well thought out healthy options. People are scared of healthy eaters , they prefer unhealthy eaters, who give them company in ordering junk food everyday and dont make them feel guilty!

7.You should be absolutely fine with younger Gen Z colleagues continuously staring into their phones at lunch hour, not talking a single word to each other. You should be willing to have only plants for having a conversation, even if they are artificial! Having living office plants is a dream that only the lucky ones get! No one has the time to take care of real plants in today’s fast paced world! Even if it is a landscape architect’s office!!! And NO, you cannot bring your own desk plant. Never well received.

8.You should be ok with having your desk facing an unfinished unplastered dead wall, dark curtains allowing no light, underground pub ambience with irregular spot lights casting uncomfortable shadows under the gimmick of designing an “ exposed utilities minimalist modern office interior” They themselves dont really know what that is, by the way!

9.You should basically be like a slave, saying yes with a smile to everything they tell you to do! Gulp it down with a poker face. The best qualities for a female employee over forty is to have a poker face and no spine. You can do “ very well” at your work then.

10.You have to laugh at the boss’s jokes and let him/ her win at the game of ping pong . They set up the ping pong table to show their clients how much they care about their employees, remember! Noone is actually supposed to play, didnt you get the unsent memo! And winning against the Boss is like typing your exit letter yourself!

11.Never mention your kids at work. Your kids can never seem absolutely normal, sporty, smart and definitely not cute! If that happens to be the case, good luck with your next job!

12.Never invite any of those office “yes-men” home. They will report about your home interior design to the Boss! And if your home happens to be tastefully done(giving tough competition to the Boss), game over!

13.You can travel only to your sad little home country (preferably third world) , and never to any exotic beach location. Thats only reserved for the Boss and his family or his secret girlfriend!

14.Your Instagram page can never be more creative than your Boss’s or his wife’s(who may be secretly viewing your page. She already hates you, by the way!)

15.Your husband can never be better looking/ well built than your Boss/ your Boss’s! If he is, guaranteed, you will never get that promotion! In fact if you seem like a happily married woman with kids, the chances of getting anything are dim. They prefer it being the opposite.

16.Your car should never be quirkier than your Boss’s /Boss’s wife’s car. In fact, you dont even deserve to have a car. If its a hopeless second hand one, its ok. If you cycle to work or walk, showing commitment to sustainability (what the office brags about) then they’ll actually hate you even more! How dare you lead an actually sustainable life! Its making the Boss look bad, dont you get it?

17.You should never correct the spellings in the report already “ seen” by the Boss. Aww! His adorable dyslexia!

Basically you should pretend to be a Big Zero in front of the Boss, become the loyal dog and wait for the charity biscuits to be offered to you.

If you choose to stay the carefree cat you are, you’ll never make it in this work world, dear woman!

So just stretch that flexible spine ...cat and cow, cat and cow, no downward dog and curl back to sleep. Its a beautiful day, to realize this, isnt it!

#careerminimalism #downshifting #workingwomaninamansworld #tothemalechauvinists

:: My favourite office space till date...2014 to 2023! ::