Then and Now

(For Arhaant at 15)

I still remember that day, when Arhaant was three. I had gone to his nursery to watch his concert. I reached slightly late after all the parents were already seated. He saw me, stood up and shouted with joy, “Look! That's MY Amma!”

And then, I’m here today…watching Arhaant prepare for his group project to be presented in front of the parents. He is wearing a formal blue shirt and has a slight hint of a mustache under a 15 year old grown up glance. He gives me a "Don't look at me like that” kind of expression. I totally get it!

But I'm just feeling so elated, looking at my tall, mature son, speaking in a rich baritone, confidently.

Dear Arhaant,

Don't look back …look forward to a new exciting life!

I will always wait with longing teary eyes to note down your achievements. At fifteen, I am so happy to see you speak so well in front of a crowd. This summer you have participated in many summer camps of team building, group projects, transformative journalism, to name a few. I am most relieved about the fact that you have started taking the public bus and begun your journey towards full independence.

It was another weepy moment for me to see you get on the Abu Dhabi City bus that morning, one hour early, responsibly, to reach your class on time. Such habits will take you a long way.

I want you to keep drawing, painting more and more, like you do. Keep up the fitness regime and body building that you are so interested in these days. Keep reading and studying hard, especially for this important academic year. I know I can always count on you for all those intellectual conversations.

As I write this, I realise, I am actually wearing your old tee! 13-14 years from the boys section! You did not fit into it even for a few months! You are taller than me, your shoe size is much larger and your biceps much thicker :)

This journey from the car seat to the front seat will soon turn into you being in the driver’s seat . with me in the back seat perhaps! For me, this is time travel ! Delusional? Or Delulu ;)

:: Arhaant at 15 :: 

:: Arhaant at 3 ::

The Becoming

As a little girl,
she jumped and skipped like a brook,
chasing sunshine and pretty pink buds
along her bubbly route.

She trekked across hills and valleys,
as a young lady, dodging rocks,
finding ways around shrubs, like a stream,
caressing dreamy flowers on summer days,
then fearlessly diving into waterfalls.

She flowed along fertile plains,
in a calm curvy grace of a mother,
leaving her gentle touch upon the banks,
where children splashed and played.
Like a river she carved her own course,
choosing a strong individual identity.

Where tall wise grasses keep company
with old trees and lone owls,
comes the difficult turn in life - - -
Her womanly flow feels heavier.
Edges rugged, paths unclear, lonelier.

Sooner or later, she knows,
the current of change has to be confronted.
It's not about losing your persona,
but a chance to become
a higher version of yourself…

On wide open vistas of slow sunsets,
where the winds weave salty stories,
NOW is the time, THIS is the place,
to enter your abundant era
and finally BECOME
the deep, profound ocean!

:: Inspired by the poem "Fear" by Kahlil Gibran :: 

:: Becoming Blissful at Bali :: 

Portal of Midlife

The portal of midlife,
is a delicate difficult junction,
of change and challenges.
Lets give each other
another chance
to greet our older selves
with new eyes.
Hold my hand
and cross this threshold together…
Let’s renew “our space” again.

Over the years we have learnt, there cannot be two alphas in a relationship. When both partners have a strong individual identity, they often need to balance between playing alpha and beta as per the need of their life’s situation.

Marriage and Family cannot be an individual championship. It's a team sport, where each member needs to play at multiple positions.

When one partner gets to enjoy the limelight of playing center forward, the other partner shall guard the goal and play goalkeeper, at times filling in to be the defender as well. Grown up children eventually step in to play at mid level, helping both partners as required.

Currently, I think I am the goal keeper. I got my chance to play center forward and be in the limelight. I will give the boys a chance to shine now at their positions.

Generally, males are programmed to have more 'doing’ energy while females to have more of a ‘receiving’ energy. If the woman has very strong beliefs and opinions, she sometimes needs to deliberately switch on her receiving energy in a marriage yet continue her 'giving energy’ in a family.

This is the delicate challenge that midlife presents in a marriage. As we count 19 years of married life, it's the portal of midlife which we must cross carefully together, helping each other along the way.

I hope this year steers us to the direction that aligns with our life’s true purpose.

:: The Portal of Midlife ::