Spaces in our Togetherness

The past three months have been far different than any other phase, perhaps in everyone's lives so far. Who would have thought, we would not be able to step out of our houses for the longest period of time! Somewhere down the line, we had taken our freedom for granted.

To an extent, I can compare these unprecedented months with my two maternity breaks, when motherhood became the most important role I had to play! But this time I got a chance to home-school my two boys. While there are some benefits of teaching our own children, making sure they have understood the concepts well, it can never be the same as going to school with friends and having their own ‘special secret space’ in their world which stays unknown to parents. 

With ‘work from home’ option, as I began sitting with my laptop by my bedroom window early in the mornings, shifting to the living room past noon and then by the sofa past midnight, rearranging all my priorities to be in tune with my children's’ time tables, they often got a sneak peek into my work life as well. My older son, who says he wants to be an Architect, often came by my computer screen, looking at the high profile villa landscapes designed by me, wishing for a helipad and jacuzzi! 

And in return, I got deeply involved in my children's’ school world and became a student with them! From phonics, finger spaces and story maps on one side to fractions, decimal points and figures of speech on the other! With my love for art and craft projects, poetry and essays, I got a chance to vent my creative juices and unknowingly poured them into my children’s impressionable brains! Amidst days of chaotic multitasking, I sometimes found peaceful rewarding moments to sit back and just look at the improvements I saw in my children each week! 

The most unusual part of ‘work from home’ was having Baba around in the house on most days. We had converted the master bedroom into a meeting room by day, while the kids bedroom and the living room became work and study studios. It was refreshing to have all of us together at home for lunch breaks, tea breaks, a quick game of indoor football for those ‘in between times’ , a session of  P.E with Joe by early evening and then jogging about on the terrace by sunset! I am going to miss these memorable perks of togetherness the most! 

However after all these days of being together, I definitely have missed my own little space in my office, where I often went to dream! That window by my desk, my plants, my sketches, my coffee...the fact that it made me forget the mother in me! I guess somewhere all of us have missed those private spaces of our lives.

The concept of ‘giving space’ has thus become all the more important over these months. Earlier, we had our own secret worlds by day, and then we returned home to our ‘togetherness’ by early evening. This new togetherness has brought us so close that there has been an overlap in each family member’s personal space, making it a shared space! 

“Let there be spaces in our togetherness”, a line from Kahlil Gibran’s poem, is what I found to be the most appropriate in these times. Lets give each other a togetherness that has some spaces where each one is free to drift back and forth into their own worlds. And while we are together, let's enrich these spaces with each other’s differing perspectives on the same. Let us be in the same space and sing our own separate song! This is going to be the ‘new normal’! 

With this thought, I look forward to the vacation. Must admit, I am a bit worried about a summer without friends, swimming and visiting grandparents in India! I miss home-school and I miss the teachers who worked so hard with making distance learning so interesting, filling in the gaps which mothers couldn't! Let's hope to maintain in our togetherness, each other’s empty spaces, perhaps filled with something new!  

#covidsummers #lifeinthetimeofcorona #workfromhome