Does Life give a Third Chance?

Ever since Rumi has been rescued, I have been trying to keep her indoors, afraid of losing her again and again. But she’s someone who loves her freedom and fiercely rebels against any kind of confinement. Whenever we have kept her in the pet boarding for upto 2 weeks, she has exhibited aggressive behaviour, towards us and especially towards the vet. Ever since they started the refurbishment works in the community garden, I had sensed, Rumi was a bit disturbed and disoriented. Her habit of running really fast, getting into elevators, and escaping out of our compound to mingle with some street cats, particularly one from that lot, has kept me worried lately. Honestly, I should have kept a close watch on her recent whereabouts…

Whenever I have kept her confined on the terrace, she has always found a way to climb down the parapet and find her way out. She has mastered the art of opening the mosquito nets on windows with her nails to get out of a room or to get into the neighbour’s homes! To be very honest, I have always received complaints about this particular wild child of mine from the neighbours, security guards and almost everyone in the compound.

This Tuesday evening after having her dinner, Rumi, was very restless to go out of the house. Very habitually, I let her out… and now I think I shouldn't have! She has been missing ever since…AGAIN! It's been five days now and we have been looking for her EVERYWHERE just like the last time. All around the compound, inside empty apartments, parking lots, elevators…

I checked the CCTV footage from Tuesday evening where she was seen in the main lobby, walking out of the main entrance of the compound. She was seen around the building later that evening as well. (Oh why didn't I go out and bring her back then….)

I have been searching day and night in the entire block and the next on foot. No luck. I keep waking up in the middle of the night to look for her from the balcony…I have told the gardeners, maintenance people, children, everyone to keep a watch on a white cat with a black heart shaped mark on one side and kohl-lined eyes… The MISSING posters are stuck everywhere, again.

My dear Rumi! Where are you?

I understand, you did not like to be locked indoors. You miss some of your hiding places in the garden. I know, you loved your freedom, loved to explore, climb trees, catch birds, kill lizards… you had found a friend in that other street cat who looks a bit like you, someone unlike the purrfect Persian pet cats within the compound, which you secretly hated! Perhaps, you didn't want me to hover around you anymore… you wanted to run free? You came to our lives as a meek kitten that we rescued from the street. But maybe now, you wanted to lead your life on your terms, with your own kind? May you find the freedom you were looking for...perhaps in a more wild adventurous place , suitable for you…

I never wanted to keep you locked up for my own sense of emotional security. Afterall, that defies the purpose of having a pet. Will a bird ever like to live in a cage for life? Rumi, I know you are alive. The doors of our house will always be open for you. Whenever you wish to return or whenever you find your way back, I'll be right here for you, waiting with open arms.

Your favourite sleeping places on the sofa, on top of the cupboards, will still be the same. I'll keep opening the door at dawn, wishing to find you lazing by the doormat. I'll keep searching each morning, each evening all around …with a hope of you coming back home with me one of these days!

My gaze will never give up searching for you, expecting you back home…I'll keep hearing distant “Meows” out of nowhere, wishing for them to be yours…

I hope you are not trapped. I hope you're not stolen! I hope you are safe. I hope you are FREE in the way you wished to be. Is it destiny who has set you free or is it YOU who wanted to set ME free…I've been too emotionally attached to you after losing my mother. My mind, my heart has no emotional energy left to bear another yearning.

As I brush your hair off the sofa, I keep questioning myself…what could I have done to stop this from happening… is anything in our control? In this quest of searching for my lost cat, I’m really looking for an anchor to keep things permanent forever, when in reality, there is no constant. Every element is a variable; every relationship, everchanging. I am searching for something “I” have “lost” to make me feel complete again. Every journey is in continuous motion. Who are we to stop this momentum? In the end, nothing is "mine" , nothing is " yours"...We are just spending time with each other , making memories in this cycle of life. It's all a transit time that we call a life...

Rumi, you’ll stay immortal within the pages of my book, Amaira the little woman. I will never stop loving you. I'll never stop looking for you. I'll wait for you for the rest of this life…

It has taken me three years to learn to live without my mother. I will have to teach myself to live without seeing you everyday. I'll try to convince my mind, my eldest daughter has gone to university to learn life skills and street smartness. She'll be back as a beautiful confident young lady with a curvaceous furry body, thick bushy tail and those same kohl-lined mischievous eyes!

RUMI, PLEASE COME BACK...