Womb Woes

Her wailing womb waits
for repeating routines to fade.
As does the weary woman,
her endless duties, unmade.

Of aching and bleeding,
shedding and rebuilding,
she revisits with earnest eyes,
spells of internal rewilding.

Scars of the nine months,
she remembers yet again.

For unknown last few times,
numbed tears overflow in vain...

Wind whistles his way up
through loosened cracks and folds.
to hum hieroglyphics of tiny beings, 
the sacred cave still holds!

For someone who has been
profoundly deep and full,
difficult it is to accept
becoming void and null.

Empty and refill
has been whose rhythm,
being consecutively vacant,
is an out-of-character algorithm!

O woe is her weeping womb
in fear, who rests her case,
of being made redundant
in her own body's workplace...

#perimenopause #menopauseanxiety  #beingwoman #wombwoes

:: Looking at yourself from inside the womb! ::

Creative Contributions

I am honoured to have been invited last month to this special event “Stories for the Love of The UAE”curated by the Ministry of Tolerance and Coexistence, Sandooq Al Watan and Austin Macauley Publishers, UAE, to celebrate the contributions of creative people, living in the UAE for many years.

I had an engaging conversation with Dr. Louise Lambert, through my first podcast, which presented a platform for me to highlight sparkling moments in my journey as a Landscape Architect, Artist and a Poet and experiences of the past few unusual months in the UAE.

My poetry book, AMAIRA the Little Woman, got a chance to be seen and heard, as a story through womanhood, with its beauty and struggles.

It's been a great experience, interacting with creative people from all over the world who have been calling UAE their home.

To get this equal opportunity is the freedom of expression, that speaks a lot about this nation.

Thank you

:: Ministry of Tolerance and Coexistence, UAE

:: Sandooq Al Watan

:: Austin Macauley Publishers, UAE

:: Dr. Louise Lambert

:: Stay tuned for the full conversation to be shared on this space ! ::

   

:: My First Podcast ::

:: Conversations with Dr. Louise Lambert ::

:: Stories of the UAE ::

 

The Becoming

As a little girl,
she jumped and skipped like a brook,
chasing sunshine and pretty pink buds
along her bubbly route.

She trekked across hills and valleys,
as a young lady, dodging rocks,
finding ways around shrubs, like a stream,
caressing dreamy flowers on summer days,
then fearlessly diving into waterfalls.

She flowed along fertile plains,
in a calm curvy grace of a mother,
leaving her gentle touch upon the banks,
where children splashed and played.
Like a river she carved her own course,
choosing a strong individual identity.

Where tall wise grasses keep company
with old trees and lone owls,
comes the difficult turn in life - - -
Her womanly flow feels heavier.
Edges rugged, paths unclear, lonelier.

Sooner or later, she knows,
the current of change has to be confronted.
It's not about losing your persona,
but a chance to become
a higher version of yourself…

On wide open vistas of slow sunsets,
where the winds weave salty stories,
NOW is the time, THIS is the place,
to enter your abundant era
and finally BECOME
the deep, profound ocean!

:: Inspired by the poem "Fear" by Kahlil Gibran :: 

For me and many women like me, stepping into this scary phase of perimenopause , feels like a huge change from within. We just need to calmly accept, even though things may not be the same as before, its the beginning towards something new, perhaps a higher version of ourselves... 

:: Becoming Blissful at Bali :: 

Slumbers of Summer

"Slumbers of Summer" is my latest artwork from the 'Rumi & Me' Series.

This time, I have tried to capture the process of creation, using not just my creative voice, but my own physical voice as well.

My most enjoyable part is filling in the gouache paint after the final inking of the sketch.

The initial sketch idea on the tracing paper is seen towards the end, which was actually the beginning and it shows how the idea is improvised along the journey as I realized, the tail and the hair should merge! 

:: Slumbers of Summer :: 

“Stop playing for the crowd.
Create to fulfil your inner thirst.
Create, to tell your story…
At first, to amuse,
then, to amaze yourself.

Minimalist art means 

clean lines, sharp strokes.
Less noise, says more.
Stop, when it's just enough.
Your heart knows when it's done.”


Words, Voice, Art: Natasha Nair @quiethappinesstasha

:: Inked Sketch ::

:: Filling in the red gouache paint :: 

:: Idea Sketch on tracing paper :: 

Silver

In the bursting blue veins
of hardworking hands,
what begins to show up…

Is a head held high in courage,
yet the folds of her neck
spill out that secret.

Kohl-edged lids hold up weary lashes
Cleverly covering up
many-a- sleepless story.

The worry- bag balances
from one shoulder to the other,
fishing out a pair of glasses,
to spell it out correctly.

Twenty projects of youth,
Thirty loads of motherhood,
Forty winks of lists to do.

One manic panic morning,
the rear view mirror displays
all the roads taken till half of a life.

From the creased corner of the eye,
next to the forced smile,
I see her wave back.

She assures with a sharp eyed spark,

I am with you, within you - - -
Your younger, brighter, quicker self.

#aging #youngerself #fortyplus #womanoverforty #greyhairgreenmind #amairathelittlewoman

Also tried the Marathi version of the same poem ---

(This has been manually typed in Marathi language as well and it is not an auto translation.)

 

सोबत वयाची

कामसू हातांवरच्या निळ्या रेषांमध्ये दिसून येते.

डोळ्याखाली ओघळलेल्या काजळाने ती लपवते...

लिहिलेल्या शब्दांचा खरा अर्थ समजून घेण्यासाठी, 

गडबडीत चष्मा शोधत राहते...

एका खांद्यावरून दुसऱ्यावर ओझं ढकलताना, 

अलगद हसणार्‍या ओठांभोवती घड्या करून बसते... 

वीस तरुणपणीच्या गोष्टी, 

तीस मुलांबरोबरच्या, 

तर चाळीस करायच्या राहिलेल्या!

अर्ध्या आयुष्यापर्यंत तुझ्यासोबत मी राहिले,

आरशाच्या मागून मला शांतपणे म्हणत राहते ---

तरुणपणीची मीच!

 - नताशा बेडेकर

Rumaira

 "Rumaira", my latest artwork, features the loving relationship between my boys and our lost cat Rumi... She would have turned four this June. Happy 4th birthday dear Rumi, wherever you are!

On a very sad note, last year after Diwali, Rumi wandered off a bit too far and never came back... We are still waiting for her with open arms...

Every Eid Al Adha, we used to celebrate her birthday, as she was a rescued kitten and we did not know her actual birthday. She came to our lives in the Eid holidays of 2021 and filled in the much needed colour and freshness, like the favourite red hibiscus she has borrowed from Amaira, in this artwork!

Rumi and Amaira are like my two ethereal daughters, symbolizing love and strength. This illustration brings together all my children in one frame! This is the first time my boys have been part of my illustrations. 

My artwork always starts with a first rough sketch on a tracing, like back in Architecture college days.  After the final tracing with ink, I fill in the thicker lines with black gouache paint. Thick red gouache paint is used to fill in the hibiscus. Once the ink and paint are dry, the sketch is brought into the digital medium for fine tuning of some linework. This is the process I have followed for all my illustrations showcased in my poetry book, AMAIRA, the little woman, creating my own Amaira signature style. 

I hope to express many more emotions along the way, through the same medium. 

#amairasignaturestyle #minimalistart #rumaira #paintandink #myboysandgirls #amairaart 

In Between Lines

The beauty of poetry is that it does not spell out exactly what the written word wants to say. Hidden in between those sentences is the abstract meaning of poetry. There is always one literal meaning, the second, deeper meaning or real meaning and then there is a third, the abstract meaning of a poem, that each reader discovers according to their own mindset, psychological background, culture, upbringing and intellect.

When I was writing my poems in the book Amaira, the little woman, I wanted them to be simpler than my first book, quiet happiness. The poems are almost a deconstructed version of the complex thought.

Each time I read the poems by my most favourite poets - - - Jalaluddin Rumi. Khalil Gibran and Rabindranath Tagore, what I find most apparent is that the language (English translation) is very simple, but the thought behind every line is of such a high level that only some can truly decipher it. The gist is never compromised or lost in translation.

I have always aimed at writing a poem in which the overall thought is more important than getting into the arrangement of each sentence. That way, there is always something mysterious tucked under a word which makes sense differently to different people.

When I say ‘evening’ in one of my poems, it refers to the second half of life, referring back to Carl Jung’s philosophy of two halves, where the first half of life is full of searching, striving, chasing, earning, pushing, rushing, enduring and relentlessly running towards what we feel is needed and wanted while the second half involves an inward journey toward wholeness and meaning.

When I say ‘lake’ or ‘home’, it actually refers to the mind’s qualities of that time. The poems are more metaphorical than literal. The stages of Bud, Bloom, Blossom and Butterfly are metaphors for a growing woman. Every word is a clue that opens the doors to a new phase in life. The entire gist of the poem is narrowed down into the last few lines and if that thought gets across to the reader, the poet wins!

Poetry is not always about finding the right rhyming pattern or the exact synonyms. I started believing in the power of free verse and minimalism right after my quiet happiness phase , and the beginning of my Amaira phase. But I did not know that the phase I was entering into, led to the birth of Amaira…

So dear readers, read and re-read in between the lines, each poem from my book Amaira, the little woman with a renewed mindset, opening your third eye of the soul. It's then that you will find the abstract meaning of a poem that relates to your own life. And you’ll realize, Amaira’s story is actually YOURS…a story woven by your own mind!

:: In between lines...::

AMAIRA Inspiration

My Amaira-Style of illustrations find their roots in the festivals of India and some childhood stories! Why does the leading lady, Amaira, in my poetry book, wear a red hibiscus? There was a girl in my class who used to wear a red hibiscus on her "fountain hairstyle" around the Ganesha Festival Season because it's HIS favourite flower ! When I drew my first sketch of Amaira, I remembered this. Thus, the deep red hibiscus worn on wild wavy hair became Amaira’s signature style! The minimalist abstract forms are used to convey maximum meaning in fewer lines, minimum colours and in the limited me-time that I used to have when my boys were younger! 

Each illustration starts as a rough pencil drawing in my sketchbook. Then, becomes a final ink sketch on a tracing paper. The thick lines and colour are filled in with gouache paint. Finally, the illustration gets scanned and then fine tuned for lineworks in a digital medium. 

#amairathelittlewoman #amairainspirations #abstractart #ganeshaart #minimaliststyle #Amairasignaturestyle #naturelove #landscapedesign #flowerswelove #hibiscusrosasinensis

Admiration for Amaira

It's been a month that Amaira has begun her journey across the pink sky. I'm happy to see, she has met many admirers on the way! 

I thank Bahareh Amidi, Iranian-American spiritual poet, for showering Amaira with blessings and some beautiful words —

“I have received the gift of your words and your art.
I love the feel of the book, it is all so welcoming…
I feel welcome to your life and to your world.

The faith of your mother in you, so deep, so rooted and yet branched out.
The number 40 is my favorite too!  

The birth, the bud.... the bloom, the colors and the possibilities all.....
To be showered by blessings …
And to go "From Within" to find one's own Light, Soul and Wing.

"The wind comes in" and I wonder what it will announce.
She is gentle and strong.

I feel your footsteps along the way, 

your footsteps leading to here and now.
Thank you for allowing me to enter your space and travel in your world.”

Sending love and Light,

Bahareh

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Soulful, inspiring…spectacular! You have grown as a writer… Your poems are passionate, mature and introspective. Each time I read, a new meaning blooms out from the words! “

— Vidyut, India

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“ Stunning illustrations that narrate poetic stories woven in a “YOU”nique style! I followed each transformation journeyed through different stages of the book.”

— Vini, US

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“The poems “Dialogue”, “In Exile”, “Mark of a Woman” walk us through parts of womanhood with all its grace, beauty, pain and strength.”

— Jade, UK

⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Amaira stands for every woman waiting to achieve herself as an independent, empowered being and not just a cliché of what she should be.”

— Mais, Egypt

⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Why am I not surprised! You are the artist, You are the poet! You look the part! “

— Nadine, Lebanon

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“You have crafted a world of silence, emotion, pain and serendipity...I am truly awed by the depth your words hold.”

— Vishal, India

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Heartwarming! … A Beautiful book! There is a lot of soul poured in every word & illustration. This book is truly a journey of a woman through thick-n-thin, day-n-night of life and is my favorite ‘go-to’ book for short reads…“Me without you” being my favorite.”

– Niv, UAE

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Expressive Visuals! … Beautiful expressions in thought and visuals allow the reader to interpret poems on multiple levels. Illustrations convey a spiritual transformation.”

— Krishna, UAE

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"When an architect is a poet, their poetry goes way beyond words. Visually solid piece of art, effortless storytelling &original thought. This book delivers way more than it promises! Indeed makes a lasting impression on the reader."

— Asmita Patwardhan, India

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"A rule breaker from childhood, who drives into the unknown to mark her identity. Own storyteller, trying to find her innerscapes ...She's Amaira."

— Anjana, India

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Each poem leaves an imprint on your mind. Deeply moved by "Broken", transported to another world in "October Sky" and I started 2024 with "Newfound"

— Chat, US

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"A journey with multiple layers of depth within the words to recall quiet days of deep thought and learn more about yourself. I am in love with this book."

— Christina, Spain

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Use of specific colors in the art beautifully captures the highs and lows of each phase of life. Compels you to reflect and pause for a second."

— Wafaa, Sudan

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Interesting specifics of landscapes, tree species and flowers. Every sketch is an abstract of the words!

— Nick, UAE

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"The poetic verses illuminate the spirit, ignited in the mornings, softened by evenings and passionately ablaze at midnight."

— Galina, Serbia

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Amaira, the Little Woman

The sky is pink… inviting HER to fly!

AMAIRA, the little woman, my second poetry book, has been released in this world today, on 31st of July, 2023. NOW is her time!

Gracefully elegant on the outside but quietly strong on the inside,

Amaira is hidden somewhere in all of us, waiting to shine!

Amaira is the little girl who wants to become a woman.

She’s the young woman, who discovers the mother in herself.

Amaira is a strong independent mother, who lets herself be the little girl within…

I’m sure you all know someone who's just like Amaira!

Gift her this book and let her know she’s SPECIAL.

If your DAUGHTER is a dreamer like Amaira, give her this book. 

Let her explore the beauty of womanhood that awaits her.

Gift this book to your MOTHER who has always carried the strong shades of womanhood.

To your SISTER and to your WIFE, who might have a blooming Amaira in the womb.

Let your SON, your FATHER , your HUSBAND read it too...

for they need to understand a woman's mysterious side!

This book is for all those who wish to take a peek into a woman’s creative mind…

If your thoughts resonate with Amaira’s, this book is for YOU!

Gift it to YOURSELF.

Come celebrate this exciting journey through all the wonderful forms of womanhood, finding inner wings of transformation.

ORDER NOW! 

https://austinmacauley.ae/books/amaira-little-woman/

Also available on international online platforms for a global audience!

:: Amazon.ae (UAE & GCC)
:: Sanad Books (UAE & GCC)
:: Amazon.in  (India)
:: Amazon.ca (Canada)
:: Amazon.com (International)
:: Barnes & Noble (International)
:: Blackwell’s (International)
:: Booktopia (Australia)
:: Booksamillion.com (International)
:: Strand Books (International)
:: Kobo (E-book)

*All Poems, Illustrations, Drawings, Artwork, Cover Design and selected Photographs in this book are by Natasha Nair (Copyright © Natasha Nair 2023.)

Photographs of Natasha Nair and two brilliant Paintings inside the book are by my husband Krishna Nair.

About Amaira

I come from a family of strong independent women, backed by free thinking men. My great grandmother, even after becoming a widow, had completed her masters degree and devoted her free time to educating women from the neighbourhood.

My avant-garde grandfather had instantly fallen in love with the rebellious village belle, my grandmother, a fearless woman with deep blue eyes, who accompanied him to the city to follow her dreams, learnt how to drive and became an independent working woman.

My mother was a farm princess, who grew up driving tractors and taming wild buffaloes in the village. When she came to the city, she brought along her fighting spirit and mastered every creative art and craft she was interested in. Through her own example she taught me and my sister to follow our bliss and work towards financial independence using our own set of talents and skills. Our father never stopped us from doing anything just because we are girls. He has sown the seeds of equality and an evolved thought process, opening our minds to world cinema, contemporary art and thinking outside the box. My sister has always been unapologetically herself when it comes to living life on her own terms.   

All these wonderful women in my life, who have redefined beauty in their own way, have gone in the making of  my upcoming book of poems, "Amaira, the little woman."

“Amaira” was the name that I had shortlisted for a daughter. But I was gifted with two boys. Somewhere, this name kept lingering in my head, trying to find its meaning in my life. It's through the sketches of a girl that I kept drawing in my vacant times that blossomed one by one into different forms of womanhood, that Amaira found her way out again! While weaving poetry around those lines, it was indeed a Eureka moment, when I said to myself, “That’s Amaira”!...my unborn daughter, who was destined to take birth in a different avatar!

Amaira comes to life, bathed in the creative colours of my mind. But most of all, her love for flowers is what I’ve seen in my mother’s eyes, when I used to accompany her to collect flowers for her professional flower decoration projects. The artistry in my mother’s hands is what I believe has helped me sculpt Amaira into these graceful forms, just like her name, meaning forever beautiful.

Amaira is a dreamer. She has a close relationship with nature. As a landscape architect by profession, through this project, I have taken my love for landscape elements, flowers, birds and butterflies, combined with my deep rooted care for all those women, who, in some way, are burdened and imprisoned in an invisible cage of helplessness, and used my poetic voice as an expression of freedom, in turn to celebrate the freedom of expression!  Amaira thus becomes a metaphor for everything a woman can dream to be!

Amaira carries within her the joy that art and poetry bring to my life. Using this medium, she reconnects with nature, with the wind in her hair and wings outstretched. With no inhibitions, she explores the land of dreams, celebrates each stage along the journey, keeping the inner child alive and curious, finally till she merges back to the earth. Through Amaira, I have found the “Meaning in my Making” to stir connections with my inner self, my spiritual side and with nature.

*I express deep gratitude to the book “The Meaning in the Making” by Sean Tucker for helping me find the meaning in the making of my upcoming poetry book, Amaira, the little woman.

:: First Sample Print ::

To Feel like a Poet...

To call yourself an artist or a poet has never been straightforward. Especially if there is no official piece of paper to validate the fact. For me, architecture has been the perfect foundation course for all things creative. Once an architect, all allied creative fields such as photography, graphic design, drawing, sketching, painting, creative writing, poetry, interior design, landscape design, fashion design and so on, seem to come with it. Poetry came to me in my early days of childhood, while dabbling with lines, shapes and then words. I carried it along on my creative professional journey.

While working in the field of landscape for so many years, side by side, I worked on creating my first poetry book and dared to have it published! Of course, putting your innerness out there for people to comment on is a very scary exercise. But I did that. Probably motherhood gave me that courage. But even after ten years since my first book came out, I haven't felt comfortable referring to myself as a poet.

Through COVID, I worked on my second book of poetry. This time, adding illustrations as well, that weave through the poems, telling a story. My style has definitely evolved since my first book. Post COVID, after losing my beloved mother in 2021, my mind was meandering anchorless, trying to find that one thing to keep me going. I mustered the courage to submit my manuscript to a bigger publication house. To my surprise, it was selected! I've been working towards this venture since last year, with the landscape architect in me, supporting me alongside.

But now the time has come for the landscape architect to take a step backwards and let the poet take on the center stage. I met my publishers in person last week. After months of corrections, cover trials, editing, proofreading, I am relieved that we have received the print permit for my book from the Media Council! That's a big milestone! It's still not sinking in! All these processes have taken so long that I keep getting stung by the scorpion of self doubt, loitering on this desert of difference. I think the final stretch is definitely the hardest!

I feel I'm in my last trimester, eagerly waiting for my poetic baby to come out, holding that long kept secret, as this time the bump isn't showing ;) It’s been more like a bubble in my head, I've been afraid, might pop!

Literally, I've arranged all my eggs in one basket, laid down the nets in wild waters as seasons go by, waiting for the big fish to finally enter.

Yes, it's difficult to swim against the current. Even harder is to wait, leaving everything that was so important before, on the back seat, facing your demons each morning.

Again, why? Why do people like us put ourselves in such situations? Wouldn't it be easier, continuing to walk, looking down, on the same path without questioning anything… to just be a part of the same routine and not dare to wander alone on the opposite side!

But it's me, who has started all this, and I must complete it in the best possible way. My mother always wanted to see my published book and to address me as “a Poet” ! I am kicking my heels, twiddling my thumbs, then going back to being the calm yogini , meditating and chanting “Aum….” to slay this restlessness and to allow myself to feel more like a poet! I am waiting in the wings for my turn to unleash the precious creation and then just dance with joy like no one's watching!

I want to invite you all, dear friends and family, to be a part of my journey through these labour pains…to patiently wait with me as I look forward to holding my first sample print, hopefully very soon. Put in a good word for me…

I will reveal the name of my book and its cover when I can touch it, feel it and smell it! Much like my last two times of delivering my boys. I can only say, this time, it might be a girl :) I can assure you all, there's something for everyone in the book. It's for us, women, to discover our inner voice and for men in our lives, to understand us better.

Meanwhile, I reach out to my mum to hold my hand as I traipse these last few strides…my grip on her fingers getting tighter with each tread, as on the stairs to my kindergarten, just like the childhood days…

#comingsoon #secondpoetrybook  #amairathelittlewoman #feellikeapoet #thissummer