STOP

Happy 2026! This one is a milestone year for us in many ways.

Firstly, I am extremely thankful for everything that 2025 had to teach me. Mainly I have learnt to accept constant change, which means, CHANGE is the only constant in this equation of life! We cannot keep holding on to the same things forever. Forever is almost a myth! We have to be flexible, adaptable and open to learning some good things from the new generations.

I love the gen Z trends and words - - - micro shifting, micro retirement, rage baiting, aura farming, career minimalism,  trad aesthetic , identity stacking, soft power posting…Oh I love them all! In fact I have been believing in some of the gen Z concepts even through the millennial era long before they were named! Delulu? Sus? Whatevs!

If I can think of one word for 2026 it should be BALANCE.

While the year is still NEW, this time instead of a TO-DO list or a TO-DO-BETTER list I came across this unique idea of a STOP DOING List for the new year!

So in 2026 I will STOP - - -

1. Over thinking/ Over analyzing
2. Trying too hard for perfection.
3. Over explaining myself - my plans/ decisions/ actions.
4. Feeling guilty for resting/not doing what I am “supposed to be doing” according to others.
5. Getting very angry/ irritated/disturbed for small things.
6. Chasing that perfect job! (It doesn't exist!)
7. Feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness.
8. Underplaying my personality/ abilities.
9. Being scared of taking up new challenges outside my comfort zone.
10. Buying new clothes that I don't really need!
11. Wanting phases/events to just get over. ( I need to learn to enjoy the process, not just the end product; the journey, not just the destination.)
12. Worrying about the future all the time.
13. Reacting too soon.
14. Expecting that everything will go as per my plans/ instructions/ expectations.
15. Trying to fit in precast moulds of one size fits all.

The Wind will Carry Us

This year hasn't really gone the way I had imagined at the beginning. But that's exactly why I have learnt some important lessons. Life is unpredictable. Change is constant. We can never really plan our life. “The Wind Will Carry Us”--- just like the Iranian movie I watched earlier this year.

Even though things took a different route, I am thankful for many turns that my life has taken. I am proud of the fact that I stood up for what I believe in yet again. I went back to myself and continued to believe in my abilities, even though my belief system was slightly shaken. My priorities have changed. I want to focus on refilling my cup.

Honestly, I found some answers to profound questions of life while I was running the 5km marathon! This time, not just my husband and my older son, but my younger son also zoomed ahead of me during our yearly winter marathon. I had decided to keep a slow and steady constant speed and not stop at all, just calmly finish the race at my own pace. And I did exactly that. Who would have thought that running a marathon could be a spiritual experience! But it can be, when one finds their own track, pace, mind frame and the wind on the correct side!

Aren't we all running this marathon of life! Our pace and our fellow runners keep changing, but the race continues. The race is to finish well and complete our responsibilities , not to come first!

In November when I lost my cat, Rumi it reminded me of everything I have lost thus far. But one extremely satisfying experience was when my husband and I actually found another neighbour’s lost cat! I watched the woman reunite with her cat and found inexplicable peace. She gave me a hug and told me she had not slept that night and I completely understood what that meant! Has there been a single night I have not thought of Rumi! Then I thought of the concepts of “absence” and “union” from the Rubaiyat of poet Rumi…750 years of absence, eight centuries of presence!

I received my first Royalty for my poetry book, Amaira the little woman. I cannot put a price on that! Its the feeling of finally calling myself a published poet!  I had one gold and one silver pendant made for my precious Rudraksha beads, from that money to make the event immortal, just like the picture of Rumi, my kohl-eyed kitty on the pages of my book, Amaira…

Around Christmas, one of our neighbours had invited us to decorate their tree. We made ‘plans’ for a Secret Santa and cake. Their older son was to visit them for Christmas. But little did anyone know, that life had already made some other plans for him…and their family. I say with a heavy heart, there was no party. Only prayers, moist memories…and a shocking realisation...What is the meaning of life after losing a loved one!

We dream of having the whole perfect cake to ourselves, to decorate it, have it and eat it too… But sometimes all we are left with are two little pieces to call our own. Even then, let's be grateful for what’s on our plate. Those two pieces are enough.

When we plan to watch the splendid meteor shower, all set and ready to go, just like the previous years, this time the sky suddenly seems completely cloudy. The moon is full. We cannot even see the moon, forget the meteor shower! Then what do we do? This is Life. We can just sit out on the terrace instead, with a cup of warm cocoa, because my most favourite wine is also finished! I say, it's okay. The wind will carry us…yet again…into another New Year!

:: The Wind Will Carry Us is a 1999 Iranian film written and directed by Abbas Kiarostami. It is one of my favourite Irani films ::

Last but not the Least

This year has been different. I have realized the difference between solitude and loneliness. I can say that solitude is my happy place where I go back to find myself.

More than anything else, this year has made me take those big risks in life, told me to take a chance without being scared. I gave up a lot for something I have truly believed in for many years. I dared to walk away from the rat race to follow my calling.

I quit my well paying job and my comfortable position. I embraced myself without any designations. I am enough and still worthy without that position and that pay cheque. I don't need to feel guilty for taking a break to do something different.

I have led a fulfilling life, even if I  have earned less money than before. I know, only love and passion are not enough to keep the engine running. But there has been lots in life to keep me motivated. I have celebrated little wins. 

The most important event has of course been the publishing of Amaira, the little woman, my second poetry book, that I had kept safe in my heart for many years. I have received amazing reviews from readers across the world. I am really grateful for this.

Amaira has given me hope. Everything may not happen exactly at a particular time, but it will happen when it has to. I have faith. It has made me a believer.

The second most important event has been my alumni presentation “Landscapes: Outer and Inner”. It has been the right platform I had been looking for, to share my story with the world. I am so happy I came out and spoke about my life and journey of 17 years thus far, through this profession of landscape architecture. It also gave me an opportunity to introduce the underlying depths of my book, Amaira, the little woman, to those from my creative field.

2023 has pushed me to find my purest sources of joy _ _ _ My home, my garden, my cat, my boys.

I talk to my plants every morning as I spot new flowers. When I look at my cat sipping water, it quenches my thirst. When I see my boys cycling fast in the community garden, it just brings a smile to my face.

This year I have also learnt how to capture the best memories in the form of short videos combined to form musical reels. I am experimenting with this creative form of expression.

Since the past couple of months, I have been doing some freelance landscape designing work from home. It fulfills my creative thirst without a lot of stress. But the pay with freelance works is nowhere close to the comfortable monthly pay at the end of each month, that comes from a regular 9 to 5 job. But this is something to keep me going for the time being. 

I am definitely more flexible this year, in all ways possible! My knowledge of yoga has gone up. I learnt about mudras and mantra meditation. I have played more ping pong, I swam more, ran more, cycled more, danced more and I bathroom-sang more than any other year!

I recreated ten of my mother’s recipes. And I have begun to call myself a poet --- proudly and comfortably!

I look forward to new things in 2024. Here are some resolutions and hopes for the new year —

Happy 2024!

1. Earn more, save more.
2. Learn Tai Chi
3. Continue yoga and other forms of staying fit physically and mentally.
4. Try a 10km marathon.
5. Participate in more book fairs and book signing events.
6. Hope for more reviews for Amaira.
7. See Amaira in more book shops and in more homes.
8. Trip with my sister and family as every year to a new place in India.
9. Try to fit all the things learnt in 2023 into the new routines of 2024.
10. Drive on unknown roads bravely.
11. More of gardening, cycling, ping pong, swimming, running, sketching.
12. Keep exploring new places.
13. Face your fears. 
14. Note your insecurities and work on them.
15. Read more books. 
16. Be genuinely interested in football!---I can do that much for my boys ;)
17. Master the freestyle stroke.
18. Eat clean.

:: First Sunrise of 2024 @Hatta ::

Go Back to Yourself

Did anyone catch the falling stars of yearend?

We were too busy making wishes.

Now the sky looks empty!

Let's go back to ourselves,

to look for the missing light...

:: Thank You 2022 for giving me so many reasons to smile! After a heavy 2021, 2022 brought a breath of fresh breeze in many ways . But here's what I need for 2023::

• Focus on what you have always believed in.
• Bring out more from each day.
• Stay active and motivated.
• Stop complaining, start doing.
• Keep mother’s recipes alive, try one each month.
• Self care and exercise.
• 'No strings attached' attitude.
• Work is duty, work is worship, but I will not get emotionally involved.
• Try funky, quirky new things.
• Go back to yourself.
• If not now, when?
• Keep taking pictures and videos of home, family, nature.
• Take long walks.
• Discover new paths.

Newfound

Wrap up the sorrows,
the worries of yesteryear.
Let them all, with you,
merge back into the earth;
to wake up as a fresh bud,
sway on the wind
and bloom again
a year older,
with newfound wisdom.

Lost Last Year

January flew through freshness,
not knowing what time was holding back.
Rolling on a cold dune in February,
desert dreams longed for sunshine.

Realigned with a changed season,
home- memories woven in March.
The fragrance of spring’s pink blooms,
filled in the emptied spaces of April.

In the sweetness of shared mangoes
and handcrafted cakes, in May.
With the older and wiser warm breeze,
rediscovered through the woods in June.

In the lyrics 

of our own summer song in July.
Barefoot dancing 

on cool indoor floors of August.

Our lifelong promise 

of forever, in September.
Along rippled lilac-laced skies,
calming the inner ocean in October.

Collecting the spirit,
with all hopes of healing, in November.
Wishing upon many a falling star,
in a cold-nighted December…

Trying to find the underlying meaning,
amid mysterious clouds, that hid a lie,
slowly dissolved into oblivion,
a lost year gone by.

Remember December

It’s time.
It's time again.
That time of the year.
It’s time.
It's time again.
Time to remember.

Remember December,
Remember December,
Forever.                                                               (Chorus)

With lofty clouds,
sleepy sun plays.                                                 (Aby’s verse)
Clear blue skies
and morning’s haze.

Bright eyed, bushy tailed,
are rare dreams, unveiled.                                   (Nat’s lines)

Remember December,
Remember December,
Forever.

With hot chocolate
we watch stars fall.                                              (Ary’s verse)
Lanterns light
on New Year’s call.

Cold nights, warm words.
Like snowflakes, in the desert.                             

Remember December,
Remember December,
Forever.

It’s time.
It's time again.
That time of the year.
It’s time.
It's time again.
Time to remember.

Remember December,
Remember December,
Foreveeeeee- eeee-er Forever.                                 (Chorus)

:: This is our 3rd song of 2020 and like always, my boys and I wrote it together. Five year old Aby included his favourites of December for his lines and 10 year old Ary wrote down his own verse. I combined it all together to make ONEshine's winter song, to remember December forever!::

Tea with Sunset

I have always liked my tea hot, freshly made and with the right amount of rich creamy milk. The current times have at least given me the liberty to enjoy my afternoon cup of tea on my terrace, just before sunset. Sipping my hot tea, watching the winter sunset against the calming blue sky has somehow become very important for my day to feel complete. 

But I look forward to the event so much , that more often than not, I end up spoiling its perfectness. Sometimes, I feel like imagining the act is more dreamy than the actuality of the event! Because in reality, we never get it right. Each day, one of my boys asks me a “ very important question” exactly while I am about to add the magical final touches to my ‘wannabe perfect’ tea and then it all collapses like a row of fragile card houses, it took so long to arrange neatly! 

And then this winter sun! Just give me ten minutes to be ready with my tea cup and sit peacefully while ‘His Highness” begins the “magic show”, the whole world is crazy about. Before I step out from my kitchen to the terrace, he has already gone!... vanished mid air under the Hudayriyat bridge. It's only 5.40 pm! I mean if it's supposed to be the ‘good weather winter’ in the desert, at least give us a longer evening to enjoy it! In the hot harsh summer, “His Highness” seems to be in no hurry and is seen loitering around the horizon till 7.30pm!

There goes my perfect peaceful cup of tea with a sprinkle of sunset. My life in the time of Corona so far has been exactly this! Striving for THAT cup of tea, chasing THE sunset! 

Will this hide-n-seek ever get over? Somewhere, we all wish that 2021 will arrive with a magic wand! The truth is, our expectations of “that” cup of tea and “the” sunset might just have to change!

~ One Thousand and One COVID Complaints! ~

Year Unfolded

On the last sun kissed hour

that wraps up December,

I lay out the year that was,

day by day upon my desk.

Recalling the perfect sunny afternoon,

when my inner fire shone across my face;

Or that rainy morning, I half-smiled my way to work

and the car wipers couldn’t stop my tears…

Within tightly woven strands of inspiration,

few wounded friendships entangled.

A wrong word, I could sieve off my tongue,

perhaps another precious teardrop to preserve.

The way my home looks, through seasons,

in ever-changing sun paths by the horizon.

A few big milestones attained,
after thousand tiny steps taken.

The last gold of yesteryear dusk,

is fringed with melancholic gratitude,

as I sing a silent lullaby

to today's concluding sun.

Every loss that emptied me,

has refilled me spiritually.

The brink of new beginnings,

becomes a collection of quiet musings.

I sort the good days to treasure,

gather all my courage.

With a newly vacant mind,

get ready to ride into the new.

aLO(e)VEra

:: Aloe you Vera much!::

  

:: I am totally inspired by a colleague, who finds true happiness in taking care of plants and replanting baby plants into new pots. And this has become my new hobby too. These Baby Aloes, born next to the mother plant on my terrace, have been neatly tucked into  new pots!


My colleague has cast her magic spell on all our office plants that looked a bit depressed earlier. She talks to them, gently caressing them every morning. They seem really happy now. In spite of not being a landscape architect, she has taught us landscapers the real essence of our profession. As we work with living elements, we must listen to what the plants have to say. Only then will they be cheerfully green amidst the built environment.
I have some new office desk friends too - Miss Ivy and Mr.Money Plant, in their new purple pots, soaking up the winter sun at my desk window, ready for the new year!

Happy New Year. May this new year help us find new sources of inner (quiet) happiness.

New Beginning

Fading midwinter Sun winks

through cracked cloud coat,

before he dissolves quietly

into evening’s indigo haze.

Silvery cold night

plucks out a lucky star

from her dark grey fabric.

Like the edge of a fingernail,

a thin moon in melancholic curve,

solemnly prays

for new beginnings...

Happy New Year!

A Walk in the Clouds

December is by far the best time of the year in the desert. This is my eleventh winter in Abu Dhabi but each time the excitement about changing weathers and New Year Eve is always more than the previous year.

Motherhood has come to a mentally comfortable but physically more challenging mode with the ‘terrible twos’ are approaching! But well, I definitely find myself doing a lot more than I was when I was a mother of one. Nonetheless matching up to the energies of two boys is a workout in itself!  It feels like a party every day! Peaceful quiet play is just not our thing!!

However somewhere in the midst of these motherhood extremities, lie some sweet nothings tucked under the cozy blankets. This year the boys are of a correct age to be able to enjoy each other’s company. On most Friday mornings they spread out the beach blanket on the terrace to spend the entire morning in the cool sun-shade mosaics. It’s our celebration of winter Fridays with terrace-tea! Arhaant enthusiastically brings all the cushions and Abhiir brings the toys outside. My husband and I get a chance to lie down and look at the sky…watch the clouds go by. There are birds and then airplanes excitedly pointed out by Abhiir. I listen to the wind chimes tinkle and the plants sway on wind. There’s something meditative about looking at the clouds glide across the sky bowl. It’s almost like watching the year go by! It’s on such occasions that I can feel Life taking a pause so that I can peacefully look back at the year. Life waits as the wind tickles my mind to pick out amazing memories from the year that is coming to an end.

This year has been really kind to us. So many events to list down! Work life has been quite pleasant for the both of us. For me, the perfect balance of work and family life that allows some ‘me’ time to daydream and get carried away is the most important aspect that sums up a good year. We had some great travel experiences in Pune, Kerala and around the Emirates. My younger son turned one. We also celebrated ten years of togetherness in this city! I see a park conceptualized by me become alive and this brings a newfound passion to continue doing what I do and loving it!

We made new friends and also had the most memorable weekend reunion with my oldest childhood buddies and their children. On the whole I am very thankful to Destiny for being by my side this year.

Much like Life itself, parenthood is a game of ups and downs. Each year feels more difficult than the previous…but in fact it gets easier every passing year. You just have to learn to enjoy the wild crazy panicky times as well. Because it’s after those that some selected quiet moments are realized all of a sudden…and real joys of motherhood hide therein! Like a walk in the white lofty clouds after the storm has finally settled…Lets enjoy this after party!

Hope 2017 is as exciting, inspiring and adventurous with a sprinkle of carefully chosen peaceful moments to relish. 

Happy New Year!

The Year that was 2015

I can truthfully say that the second half of 2015 has been rather harsh. The year started off really well with my baby shower, lots of creative vents and then the homestretch. I knew what to expect when I was expecting my second one around April this year. Our baby boy was born on April 8^th. I felt better prepared for motherload this time around. March to July just seemed to drift by in a daze as nights merged with days. August and September brought some outdoor excitement and freshness. I started planning the rest of the year with the enthusiasm of going back to work. I thought about makeovers and ‘to do’ lists.However this phase was short-lived. October brought some unexpected shocks to our life and my mind went onto unknown destinations. I wasn’t ready to face such situations. In this race of time, space, money and relations suddenly when one becomes more important than the other, none can predict…

It took me a few months to realize the hidden meaning beneath all these occurrences. Life’s experiences are here to teach. I understood what Life wanted to tell me. This New Year, my resolution will be to value what I have always had in life. I realized how precious certain things were until I almost lost them! Life gave me that pinch so that I won’t take anything for granted…ever again.

I always believed that I used to plan my life well. But I am scared to say that now. No one has the power to plan their life. Only destiny can do that. I can only be thankful that my destiny was kindly playing along all these years when I thought I was planning my own life!

This year end is going to be a humble thanksgiving meal on the terrace with the most important people in my life --- my mother, my husband and my two little boys. Of course there are other important people in my life, but these are the ones I cannot live without…and these are the ones I will never take for granted.

I am thankful to life for giving me this unforeseen jolt. Otherwise I would have never appreciated the true worth of things and people around me.

I am most thankful for my job which more often than not, gives me the creative satisfaction I crave for. I am thankful for my aged little red car, that has been there with me in high times, off moods and bloated up pregnant times , listening to my loud self talk, pet peeves and songs! I am thankful for this humble home that responds differently to new people and changing seasons. I am thankful for my older son’s drawings that always seem to inspire me and my little baby’s hugs and giggles for making life worth living even at the most difficult situations. Lastly, I am most thankful for this terrace --- the partner to my thoughts. I am so glad to see another year pass by as I sit here and write about it. Dear Life, I have learnt my lesson. Give me the strength to face 2016 and its anonymous ups and downs. Hope 2016 is an exciting journey.

The terrace looks beautiful ...all 'deck'ed up in Moroccan style this New Year eve. A home cooked dinner awaits us.The fabric shades dance in the wind and fairy lights quietly twinkle as 2015 turns into 2016.

Happy New Year !

*Afterword:  Just after helping me with my second delivery, my mother found out about her CANCER. This was the year when everything changed... 

The Year that was 2014

::  Sri Lanka Trip , 
Arhaant turned four,
Sweet Realisation ...again,
Reconnected with painting,
New Job::

Where I find Myself...

I often wonder what element makes a home so special. Is it really the place where you finally find yourself?

My husband and I thoughtfully chose not to live in one of those grand glamorous locations where you have to pay a price for so called “happening crowds”…where you actually have to pay for the polluted technology filled air and heavy traffic that does not let you reach home even if you are close enough to see your non open able window from the road!! Where marketers tell you, “Don’t go anywhere else. All you need is right at your doorstep!” 

I fail to understand why for most people,'home' is linked with a status symbol or some vague self-made explanation of lifestyle. In my opinion, we can have our own lifestyle independently, no matter where we stay. Life style is definitely not governed by your address or how much rent you pay. It refers to the unique way in which you choose to live, including your favourite things in your daily routine; keeping time for doing what you love.

Ideally, I like to live on a second floor so that I can see the tree tops from the windows. Anything higher than the fifth floor makes me lose the sense of place and I feel as if stuck in concrete!

To me, home spells 'escape to dreamland' to be in tune with myself. But which is that one secret hideaway from the busy ever running world outside that my home gives me? … something that takes me back to my carefree childhood days when I often used to hide on the window ledge next to our sun bathing cat?

The answer is where I am sitting right now. The place that gives my thoughts a chance to become words. It is this humble private terrace that the pent floor has gifted to us. It gives me something truly incomparable --- a quiet breezy deck that tells me, the whole sky is mine! From one curve of the horizon to the other sea side edge, the bright orange sunrise is mine, the romantic purple sunset is mine. The peaceful evening after a hard day of work is mine; the hope filled Friday morning spilling weekend stories is mine.  It is here that I weave future plans while my son rides his bike and my husband waters the plants. It is here that we light up the Diwali lamps sheltered from crazy winter winds.

From here, I wave a loving “bye” to my son’s school bus and say a little prayer. I watch the foggy mornings turn into crisp noons  and busy evenings turn into chilly black starry nights. I watch days go by and turn into weeks and then into years. Many milestones attained, I look back with a smile.

I would not exchange it for any posh upmarket address that in fact feels like a Rapunzel’s tower surrounded by a noisy concrete jungle. The people living there do not even know how their breaths and thoughts have gotten lazily imprisoned in the blinding bling of a fake fancy world. They think they are so close to the ocean, when in fact they are trying to stay afloat in a big pretentious aquarium, much away from tranquillity!

As the new year loiters around the corner, lost in silent contemplation, I know, it is on this terrace that I want to see 2014 turn into 2015. The lights are in place. The ‘paper flowers’ of the pink bougainvillea dance with the breeze. The wind chime tinkles. It is here that I discovered my “quiet Happiness”. It IS here that I will continue to find myself.

Excuse

The year is still new.

I find no reason

to pause or to postpone...

~ We tend to have many expectations from the new year. For things to change. For something new to happen... But somehow, it feels like there is no point in waiting. Let insight lead to change than change leading to insight.

Ring out the New, Ring in the Old

Another year has gone. I have been thinking about my new year resolution. Yes, I do believe in making these just like I love my To Do lists … and then to count the tick marks by the yearend!

The transition to the new year was very relaxed this time. We were in India at a family getaway on the kaleidoscopic beaches of Konkan, amidst ruddy winding roads, laterite houses and deep green mountains.

A yearly trip to India , is much like a dip in the Ganga river that strips me off the fake fanciness and frills of modern life. It just makes me grounded and real. Everything that happens throughout the year gets summarized into something spiritual.

I don’t know what exactly it is about the place that just melts away the materialism of a “facebookish” life and challenges you to 'face' it in a real way. Hence my new year resolution is to identify with this 'real' inner beauty of the world and my own self.

I kept asking myself, why meeting with a far off friend does not excite me anymore these days. There is no more mystery left. Because we tend to know too much of the person through social networking sites already and develop an opinion without knowing the true side of the person. That requires a 'real' meeting. And when that happens, things fall back in place.

I admit being guilty to the same offense. To fall in the technological trap. Hot profile pictures and cold hearts, 500 in the friend list but still friendless,fake comments on make-believe lives. Soon this facebook fanaticism turns into facebook depression. No one knows what the reality is. Just paint a pretty picture and keep fooling yourself.

No. Real life is much more sparkling than this. I will continue to seek beauty, but in the realness of everything. With this new approach, I looked at my India trip in a different way.

I valued the “doing nothing” times spent with family being completely committed to the moment. I enjoyed decorating our new place weaving Indianness through scattered IKEA items. I cherished the laid back times with my oldest friends not bothering about the “good girl” mask that I need to put on with new people. My son had the best time exploring the simplest of experiences like opening a pea pod and choosing the best peas from it to eat. The thrill of finding all sweet peas in a pod is much higher than having a bagfull of frozen peas though most of them would be of the best quality!
Much like life itself.

But it’s a good start. Some broken ties are on the way to patch up. Life so gives some rare chances to be the bigger person. I am happy to see my “quietHappiness” touching many more lives, proudly showcased in popular book houses or sitting cozy in sidewalk cafes.My obsession with cleanliness and cold war with dust are forgotten as the walls of my apartment seem too white again .These subtle nuances are evidence to that magical hometown spell.

Happy New Year.

~ all said and done, don’t be surprised to see my new profile picture ;)