Eleven on Ten

(For Abhiir at 10-11)

Last year for Christmas, we wanted to play ‘ Secret Santa’ within the family especially to teach everyone to think about what the other person may actually like to receive as a gift and not just to think about what they want as their own gift!

We decided on a fair maximum amount of AED 60 for everyone, so that its neither too less, nor too much for the kids to handle. The game was mainly to see how much does one really know their family member? About likes and dislikes, colour preferences and so on.

We rolled the chits and got the name of the member we were supposed to buy the gift for. We went together on the holiday of December 25th to a mall. We decided to disperse, shop and meet again in the atrium in next one hour, with the gifts , and then to have lunch together.

This time Abhiir, my gen alpha boy, had got my name on the chit he picked. He insisted on going to the shop of his choice alone to pick the gift. We were all in the same mall on the same floor , so we allowed him.

Now getting a gift for your mother is the most difficult one for a ten year old boy. He asked AI for ideas! Obviously. AI suggested jewellery, flowers, perfume. So now the challenge of getting all that in AED 60 was the big one.

He did an online research (the night before) and looked for how to fit jewellery and perfume in that amount. He noted the suggestions down(on a piece of notebook paper in neat handwriting :) and carried some change from his coin purse, so as not to fall short of a few dirhams to not be able to pick the right gift!

I am sure AI asked him , what theme may your mother like? I am sure he said floral.

So he shortlisted a pair of floral earrings and a pendant set and an orchid perfume, from the suggested shop, that would fit in the given budget. He showed his neat notes to the kind lady at the shop and she helped him find the things and gift-wrapped them for him. The man with a mission was on his way out from the shop, where he met the older brother, Arhaant , who asked him what he had got for Amma.

The 15 year old said, of course Amma has a very specific taste in jewellery and she may not like the gift. But our Gen Alpha hero did not get dejected. He was very confident about his choice and his approach towards shortlisting the right gift for his mother. He said, I am sure she will like it!

We met in the atrium. Abhiir had a big toothy grin. He gave me the gift. I opened it. Arhaant kept saying, I bet, She wont like it...

But when I saw the handwritten notes about the floral earrings set and the orchid perfume, I couldnt hold back my tears! Abhiir had actually treated this exercise like a school project. He said, because of Amaira and her red hibiscus, he was absolutely sure I would like something floral. Arhaant kept saying, Amma never wears such earrings. But I said, this time Amma will wear these earrings! If they are handpicked with love, so carefully, systematically by her ten year old son, who did so much research and hard work for the gift, how could any Amma not like it!

I wore the earrings, the pendant and the perfume for Abhiir’s yr6 graduation to honour not just the gift, but his confidence on his choice and the effort he took in selecting the gift. I still have that handwritten note describing the brand name of the floral earrings set and the orchid perfume. It was four dirhams more than the decided amount, for which he had carried the coins! I will always keep the note and remember this incident with a proud teary smile.

I do believe, the kids of this generation know how to use technology much better than us millennials!

Later, I asked Arhaant what he would have got for me, if my name had been on his chit?

He said, I know you are very selective in your taste. Its not easy to find something that you will definitely like. So I would have brought real flowers - a bouquet of red and white roses or lilies and dark chocolate, all to fit perfectly in that budget. Nothing can go wrong there. I smiled to myself. He does know me too well...

But still, sometimes something offbeat, done with maximum love and belief may just bend all the rules for the mother within...

Now I understand when they say, its the process that’s more important than the end product. 

Dear Abhiir, 

I will never forget your sweet, meticulous gesture at the age of ten. Eleven on ten for that!

:: Gift and the handwritten note :: 

:: I wore it at the graduation!::

Past Phew Months

(For Arhaant at 16)

If someone had told us last year that the grade 10 board exams were going to be cancelled next year because of the War, we would have laughed! But here we are now, actually been through that situation! It's true. Sometimes what we worry about never really happens. And what we never even think about even in our wildest dreams, may actually happen!

After several weeks of cancelling, rescheduling, postponing and being on hold half-way through, the exams are finally done! These mock exams were treated as the final exams this year and the scores from these exams will be the final result. Fair enough.

In the earlier months of alarms and apprehension, I can’t imagine how these fifteen year olds must have felt! After much ado about the importance of these exams, the real deal happened in a much different setting. Many years later , these gen Z people would be telling the younger lot about the exam fiasco in “ their time” due to war, similar to how our grandparents talk about Independence and Partition or how our parents talk about floods and earthquakes of their time!

I definitely brag about having written my second book through COVID days and having started on my third through the uncertain war times!

The past “phew” months have tested most of us to the highest points of tolerance and patience, being on stand-by mode for the longest periods of time. As if being a parent to teens was not enough. However, the homeschooling bit this time was much easier to navigate than the COVID times. But exams are something my mind is accustomed to stress about.

During my tenth grade board exams, I used to ask my mother if I had studied well. She would just say without much thought but with a reassuring smile, “Yes, you have studied very hard and I am sure you will do well in your exams.”. Honestly, that statement was like a quick recharge for my mind. It's just about our mother being there for us when we need her around.

That’s exactly what I have tried to be for my older son this year. I will not take any credit from him about planning his study schedules. He has done it well and been quite sincere throughout this academic year. I have only been there to eavesdrop on some of those “late night online study meets” to check if it was really about the studies or some blue pill red pill purple pill discussions ;)

I have been there for that quick break of basketball on the terrace, one v one or two v one, when I kept telling the boys how our girls team used to lose terribly at the inter school basketball matches and they exchanged smiles, refusing to believe that their mother was on the inter school basketball team!

I’ve been there for those loving hummus and zaatar sandwiches and oats with fruit, accompanied by my motherly pep talk. For the fun of wall tennis on windy evenings, avoiding hitting too hard or else the ball will keep going into the neighbour’s garden. Or to become the bowler, when one is batting and the fielder when both of them are fighting over who gets to bat... and so on.

On the side, I have been doing some freelance landscape work, done lots of writing and art. On all the important milestones, I have tried my best to keep myself available for my children just like my mother used to.

The graduation celebration was a great success. It's a 'proud parent' feeling to watch our almost 16year old son walk in the graduation gown to collect his certificate. 

My much fancied double graduation(grade 10 for Ary and grade 5 for Aby) finally happened this year! We had missed one such opportunity back in 2021 when everything was online. But this is just the beginning. An important milestone, amongst many more to come.

Finally, since the exams and celebrations are over, we definitely need to take “phew” breaks this summer to recharge from the past few months! Phew!

Dear Arhaant,

Happy 16th Birthday! This is the first year when there are no exams on your birthday! The football season is here, like it is every four years around your birthday. Watching a football game with friends would be an ideal celebration! Keep swimming, drawing , playing whichever sport that is your favourite this year! Please don't overdo the weights! Yoga is equally important. Everything else after 18 ;)

And...most important - If you have to choose between being right and being kind, choose kind. (I know you want to choose right ;)

The IKEA style carrot cinnamon cake is on my to do list. Of course, mine will have finger millet flour and lots of other healthy things you may not always want ;)

Amma 

:: Arhaant at 16 :: 

:: Yr 11 Graduation ::

 

Decade Accolade

(For Abhiir at 10)

The table tennis coach came to me and said about Abhiir, “He has the feeling for the game. Looks like he got it from his mother…” I recalled a similar incident when the old Egyptian football coach had said to Kris, “This boy will make you proud”

The summer of 2025 has been more of me and Abhiir, being there for each other! While Kris had gone for his biking tour and Arhaant for his teenage summer camps, it was just me and Abhiir together — We went for the table tennis tournament, where I cheered so loudly that everyone thought I was his coach ! We watched Masterchef Australia, played LEGO, cycled on the new track and of course made some crafty things indoors in the ‘45 degree afternoons’.

Dear Abhiir,

At ten, what I am most proud about, is that you can now make your own fried egg independently, without any help. I am also very happy to see these awesome Cobra Kai cards that you made, taking inspiration from the football and transformer cards. You just came up with the idea and completed all 20-25 cards, front and back, tirelessly and consistently. That's remarkable!

I liked it when you went to Baba’s office for some half days of “ pretend internship” , where you sat on an empty office desk, and completed your cards. You took your bag, lunch box, Harry Potter book to read and headphones. It was another great idea, because I know, deep down, you envied the teenage summer camps that Arhaant got this time and you didn't!

Be this fearless boy, you always are — The class monitor, student councillor, lead singer, head boy material ;) and gadget guru with amazing typing speed! Keep making your own sandwiches, fried egg and cucumber salad. Take the lead when Arhaant is feeling moody and hesitant ;)

And I know, you would rather have a new football jersey and a party for your birthday, than a trip that even all of us get ;) I won't be able to say from now on that the spring break trip itself is your birthday present ;)

Thank you for patiently collecting all our favourite songs for my car playlist. I can totally count on you for such things. I am always amused , watching your fights with enemies from your imaginary world and your accented commentary for imaginary matches that you play in the living room with famous footballers! This kind of imaginative pretend play is the best!

But please, watch your screen time and do your warm up and stretching exercises. Ten year olds with older siblings are always more mature these days and know a bit too much for their age! I still do need to keep a close watch on you!

Keep up your main character energy ;)

Love, Amma

:: Cobra Kai Cards by Abhiir ::

Then and Now

(For Arhaant at 15)

I still remember that day, when Arhaant was three. I had gone to his nursery to watch his concert. I reached slightly late after all the parents were already seated. He saw me, stood up and shouted with joy, “Look! That's MY Amma!”

And then, I’m here today…watching Arhaant prepare for his group project to be presented in front of the parents. He is wearing a formal blue shirt and has a slight hint of a mustache under a 15 year old grown up glance. He gives me a "Don't look at me like that” kind of expression. I totally get it!

But I'm just feeling so elated, looking at my tall, mature son, speaking in a rich baritone, confidently.

Dear Arhaant,

Don't look back …look forward to a new exciting life!

I will always wait with longing teary eyes to note down your achievements. At fifteen, I am so happy to see you speak so well in front of a crowd. This summer you have participated in many summer camps of team building, group projects, transformative journalism, to name a few. I am most relieved about the fact that you have started taking the public bus and begun your journey towards full independence.

It was another weepy moment for me to see you get on the Abu Dhabi City bus that morning, one hour early, responsibly, to reach your class on time. Such habits will take you a long way.

I want you to keep drawing, painting more and more, like you do. Keep up the fitness regime and body building that you are so interested in these days. Keep reading and studying hard, especially for this important academic year. I know I can always count on you for all those intellectual conversations.

As I write this, I realise, I am actually wearing your old tee! 15-16 years from the boys section! You did not fit into it even for a few months! You are taller than me, your shoe size is much larger and your biceps much thicker than mine :)

This journey from the car seat to the front seat will soon turn into you being in the driver’s seat, with me in the back seat perhaps! For me, this is time travel ! Delusional? Or Delulu ;)

:: Arhaant at 15 :: 

:: Arhaant at 3 ::

Six this Spring

My dearest Abhiir,

This is my first letter to you on your 6th birthday, as you can read and write very well now! I wrote my first letter to Arhaant as well when he turned six. I want to tell you so many things today. At this age, you might not understand everything I have written, but you can read my letter when you grow older and it will make more sense to you.

Because of homeschool, I have been more involved in your reading and writing journey and I feel so proud to see you read your favourite Roald Dahl books --- The Twits, Fantastic Mr. Fox and the Enormous Crocodile(so far.)

I love your interest in food and I do see that poster of yours saying “I want to be a Chef when I grow up” becoming true! You always mention what you want in your lunch box and you never forget to say you loved what I packed. I am surprised that you notice the details my little MasterChef!

I am especially moved when you show empathy towards Baba’s egg allergy. You always ask if he has eaten his lunch… You are so much like him!

On days, edged with sadness, as we continue to miss Ajji(Grandma), I am fascinated with your statements like “I can feel Ajji in this house.” I am touched when you bend from all sides and check if I am crying while listening to old Hindi songs...

I liked how you grew to absolutely love Bingo(Arjun-Sara’s dog) within a few hours of meeting him... how you appreciate other people’s houses and the food they offer. You do have a deep opinion on everything around you. Don't be afraid to share your opinions. Your opinions add to your personality.

You and Arhaant are so different from one another, yet so similar. Like two peas in different shades of your favourite colour green, but in the same pod!  But I really like the fact that you learn a lot from him and he is so kind to teach you those. Remember, Arhaant is your first best friend and will always be there for you when you both grow up. Did you know, your first words were not Ba-Ba or Ma-Ma, but “Ra-Ra”, as you fondly called him before!!

This year, there were times when you had to go to school alone in the school bus, when Arhaant was on distance learning. I am happy to see you be so brave. Its only when you give each other some alone time, you understand the perks of having a big brother, always by your side, leading and encouraging  you to try new things. 

I always love to hear your stories(based on true events;) , told with a twist from your imagination. I love how your interest in cricket has evolved this year, and your handwritten lists of created cricket players. 

My most favourite drawing of yours this year was that Anti-Bullying Poster of how Saturn was bullying little Mars and Earth came to rescue, as Mr. Sun (the school Principal with a French beard!) scolded Saturn. Keep drawing from imagination and create a wonderful world around you to keep you company in these uncertain days, when you might not have many friends to play with. 

I am glad you both had each other to play with(and fight with) in the COVID times, making it a memorable year of togetherness. This year, you got four shining new teeth and you mastered riding a cycle. Let's keep dancing to “Our COVID Playlist” with Coldplay, Imagine Dragons, Thaikkudam Bridge and the hindi favourites. 

Happy Sixth Birthday! Enjoy your new Roald Dahl books and Lego safari jeep. 

Lots and lots of love (love you to death, like you say it;)

Amma

:: Birthday Season is here!---April-May-June ::

:: New Flavour Each Month ::

:: Its a Handcrafted Honey Cake for Abhiir!! ::

:: Spring Season Super Six ::

On Cloud 9!

Dear Arhaant,

Each year I end up questioning how many years have gone by since you were born! I keep telling you to behave like a grown up. But frankly, even I do not know what that means! Are you really nine years old!

Each birthday gives me an enjoyable opportunity to look back at the year and choose some moments. My favorite one this year was that winter morning, when both of us went to Mushrif Park for an “Artsy Picnic” with a basket full of drawing material, sketch books, colors, reading books, picnic mat and some snacks. I really love the fact that you enjoy doing these things, that too, with your mother! We spent a good three hours at the park, with the lofty clouds drifting over us, in the company of birds and butterflies and the sound of the water cascade. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to do this activity with!

Another proud moment for me was to see you write the biography of Picasso and specially to see how you drew Picasso’s portrait for your school assignment. I think its heartening to know that you have a keen interest in the lives of these great artists from a young age.

When I was carrying you in my womb, I had always imagined you as a curly haired, lean boy with artistic fingers. And as years pass by, I can see you fitting into that image from my mind. Between you and Abhiir, you seem to be the shy, artistic, introvert type while he seems to be the strong, friendly, extrovert type. Just be yourself. Both of you. And be proud to be yourself. Each of us has a unique gift. All we must do is to nurture that gift and let it bloom within us, shaping our character.

I would want you to continue writing your diary, with lots of interesting and detailed sketches. I want you to practice skating. I think it will compliment your personality well. I can almost see you as a teenager, with loose ‘antifit’ clothes, chewing gum, curly wild hair, chiseled face and an intellectual look, carrying a sketch book and a skateboard wherever you go, humming your favorite ‘Cold Play tracks’!

I loved the birthday card you made for me with the little pictures of the incidents from our lives. I enjoyed helping you with your robot project --- the RecycleBOT 3000! I love being your “Google Amma” and am glad to answer your questions.

I loved, how enthusiastically you had packed the specially colour coordinated little goody bags as return gifts for Abhiir's birthday! You sure are my creative partner! 

I thoroughly enjoyed our road-trips this year. To Oman and through UAE, with our special mixed playlist. I was so happy to see yours and Abhiir's love for cats on the streets of Krabi. On that last evening in Thailand, under that huge Gulmohar tree, playing with the street cats, I suddenly realized, you have really grown up!

Let life be full of awesome family trips, of lakes full of lotus, desert camping under the “sky full of stars” , cozy tents, crazy jumps in the swimming pool, our summer noon dancing sessions and playing ‘Lego’ on Friday mornings after a delicious homemade breakfast of  dosas and omelettes!

Happy 9th Birthday Dear Son!

Love, 

Amma

Around the World in Eight Years!

Dear Arhaant,

Exactly eight years ago, you were born in the football season. And your Baba had wished for you to  be interested in sports. From the “Unknown Mix” you used to be, I am very happy to see your transformation into a wonderful blend of the sporty and the arty!

You always ask me, why did I choose Baba and why did Baba choose me? I can definitely say, that it is this perfect balance of artiness and sportiness that both, me and your Baba like the most about each other. You are big enough to understand this connection now.

This year, I can pick out a few precious moments that I got because of you. I like to note down such events so that we can remember them forever.

You will soon finish grade 3 this year! I remember my first term-end meeting with your class teacher Miss Elizabeth. (Miss Elbillet, as Abhiir says it ;) She had said, “I want to thank you for raising such a well-mannered and creative boy. He is a gentleman!”  It was a pleasure hearing her comment about you. I want you to continue the same and give me more of such enjoyable parent-teacher meetings.

Keep up this ‘best foot forward ‘attitude.

This year, I took you to my office once in your term-end break. You sat next to me at my work desk and drew as many as ten drawings on the back side of my check prints! And then you nicely sharpened all my colour pencils and used them to make a colourful drawing that I proudly put up on my wall!  These are the times when I feel, I must have done at least something right as a mother!

My best recollection of this year would be of that particular Friday evening when Abhiir and Baba were relaxing at home, and both of us went out for a walk to explore the ‘woods’ behind Omar’s house. We saw the Robins and the Mynahs resting in the tree branches. We listened to the soothing sound of leaves, rustling on the wind. We walked along the sandy paths under the Ghaf trees, crushing dry leaves under our jumping feet! We saw the beautiful villa by the inner road…the villa with the tall palms and the flowering climbers along its wall. You said to me, “You and Baba should build a home like this!”

I really love these instants that make me realize how similar you are to me! As a child, even I had a huge fascination for little bungalows along the shaded streets of my city and I dreamt about living in them!  

I recall a similar scene from the book “The Namesake” when the dad and the son walked towards the end of a jetty by the sea and forgot the camera. The dad said, “Now you should remember this moment forever! …the time when we had no more left to go!”

Arhaant, you should record such moments in your memory ---moments when we comprehend the real joys of life…and we don’t have a camera to capture them. I know you will always remember our ‘walk in the woods’.

You have been lucky to have gotten a chance to visit many countries in these eight years of your life. That has taught you how to enjoy travel and what all you can collect from each new place you visit.

This year I have seen a marked change in you when we travelled to Spain in spring. I loved how you brought the curvy lines from Gaudi’s architecture into your drawings. You have learnt to appreciate art and architecture from a very young age. I want you to keep these travel-learnings with you all your life and keep exploring the world with your deep sense of observation. That’s your real birthday gift.

Happy Eighth Birthday.

Love, 
Amma

Lucky Number Seven

Dear Arhaant,

This is my second letter to you. I know you can read very well now so I will express myself clearly to you. You are seven years old today. I cannot believe how time has gone by so fast.

I still remember the baby boy Arhaant born on that humid evening of 20^th June 2010. You changed my life from that day on and taught me how to be a mother. Parents try to teach their children many things in life, but children without knowing teach parents important lessons about humanity. Again I repeat, you might not understand every word of my letter today, but when you grow up, you will.

You lost many more milk teeth this year. You wrote your first poem about the Giraffe at school. You also wrote your first imaginative essay about the friendly crocodile. All this makes me really happy and proud. Your handwriting has improved a lot this year. Let me tell you, your mother used to get the best handwriting prize at school almost every year!

I know you have taken a lot of creative genes your father and from me. I hope you do something in the creative field when you grow up. But of course, you are a lot like your grandfather too(like my father).

And all three of us are birds of a feather! We are so similar. We think too much. Our thoughts spill out of our brains even in the night! We have a complicated mind that continuously observes and analyses each and everything. This makes us restless and moody. So we need to calm our minds from time to time.  You need to learn this early in life. So I am telling you now. I am still learning.

Abhiir has grown up so much this year. You have found the perfect partner at home, to play, run and jump around! But “Ra-Ra”, (like Abhiir calls you), always remember, you are his big brother. You should always take care of him. You should teach him how to draw and how to play football. Always be there for each other. I am going to tell him the same.

We had so much fun in Georgia this spring vacation. You got to see the snowy mountains! Baba and I love travelling and I know you love it too. I am sure Abhiir will enjoy travelling as much as we do.We will have a great time in India this summer when it will be raining in Pune. You can finally meet your favourite person in the world--- Ajji (Grandmum)

  

Just try to loosen up and let go of small things that bother you. Most times I tell myself the same things that I tell you. Please listen to me and Baba. We definitely know a little more than you ;)Enjoy reading and drawing. Preserve your imaginative side.I know I keep saying this all the time, but you will surely thank me for this when you grow up.

Have a great birthday with your favourite chocolate cake, new friends from the neighbourhood and your awesome new shoes. And please don’t behave like a teenager already... remember, you are just seven!

Love,

Amma

Six

: : Each year on his birthday, I am going to write one letter to my older son --- a letter that highlights his achievements of that year---a letter that he can read on his own!

Dear Arhaant,

This year I am very happy to see that you can read and write very well! This is your first step into the world of words. There would be times when you won’t understand many things I say, but just keep those in mind for now...and one fine day you will understand its true meaning. This year you have also learnt to ride the bicycle on your own without side wheels or any support. You can draw so well and colour neatly within lines. You can almost swim independently, but you must practise. 

This year Abhiir turned one as well. Its so nice to have a baby brother, isnt it! We could all go swimming together and play hide and seek. 

This year you also lost two of your front milk teeth. This is a big turn in your life. You are a big boy now...a big brother. When Abhiir got his first teeth, you lost yours! What a fun time for us!

I want you to keep reading many books and never stop drawing from your lovely imagination. You should always do what you love doing. And it is important to find out what you love to do. Once you know that, you will never get bored and will always stay happy. 

I really like it when you help me with the grocery list. i enjoy taking you for swimming lessons...just like I used to drop you to nursery. Just the both of us...singing in the car! And I really like it when you remind me which turn to take while driving back home. 

Eat healthy food, enjoy your homework and always be the same sweet boy you are.

Happy Birthday.

Love, 

Amma.