Far Behind

Carrying a couple of rugged suitcases,

he waits alone on the crowded platform,
for the known train to take him,
this time, to innings unknown...

Seventy five living years,
unbelievably fit into just two bags.
Excess baggage lies in memories,
stacked in dark caves of the mind.

His trembling hand grapples,
to hold a mounting mental load,
of the past six active decades,
upon a bent, less- than- six- foot frame.

A father gave up his only home,
that was struggling to stay alive
without the lively presence of his wife,
and his daughters’ childhood gone by...

That vintage photo album preserves
selected proofs of his story,
kept aside with musty old books,
and a lovingly hand knitted sweater.

Double set of washed clothes,
a spare pair of reading glasses,
twin dentures, one came free with another.
Two of everything, but a single soul.

His ideals wont let him admit,
how tired and lost he has felt.
Being independent is not the same
as living with loneliness, forlorn.

He longs to hear a familiar voice,
call him for dinner with a dialogue...
a caring hand to help with chores
and making the unmade bed.

As he looks out from the railway carriage,
yesteryear flashing past teary eyes,
something important seems missing...
perhaps half of himself is left far behind...

#oldage #fathersanddaughters #homefarbehind 

:: For my father, who left his only home far behind...He now lives in my sister's loving home. But its hard for him to live away from his hometown, where he lived for six decades of his life! He keeps revisiting his old life from time to time... ::

Purr-A-Dise

I was collecting flowers in the community garden that morning. Just then, I saw two white paws under the Bougainvillea bush, trying to catch my hands playfully. I recalled a similar flutter in my tummy! Oh, I know this feeling!

She walked out lazily, stretching with every step, and greeted me with a “ Meow”. That’s my favourite language, I admitted with a smile. She gave me a nudge with her small furry head and her purrs so loud, coordinated with my fast paced heartbeats. She reminds me of Rumi! The same thoughtful eyes, impish whiskers, soft muddy paws. Not too young, not too big. Just the right active size for a kitten. Oh, how this familiar feeling tugs at my heart strings!

Unlike Rumi, she has a few brown spots on her white and black fur. The kids in the community have named her “ Cookie” - the brown spots are for chocolate chips in the cookie! She follows me like she already knows me and my scent. This morning, she followed me home, sniffed the doormat and stretched to sleep on it, just like Rumi did. I don't have any cat food these days. I distributed it all two years ago at the street-cat Iftar party, I planned for them.

I don't have anything but affection to offer now...my heart overflows with love, when I pet her and stroke her chin. This is the unique kind of purest love that only pets seem to bring out from us! She gives me an instant purring feedback to reciprocate the feelings. She walks through my legs, nudging me with her head again, just like Rumi...

The doors to my heart were shut tight after Rumi wandered away. I convinced myself with the karmic contract reasoning, of a cat’s purpose in our life. But why does this kitten knock ever so softly on those doors...trying to open them and peep into my heart...

The two predators, Simba and Ginger from the neighbourhood are quite old now. Ginger is too lazy to move. Simba challenges himself with chasing this new kitty on the block. She swiftly climbs the trees and he cannot reach her. He is too chubby to climb trees. In short, she knows how to take care of herself. Everyone feeds her lovingly. She can easily survive in the community garden, hiding under the bushes and sleeping on the moist earth.

One afternoon, she followed my boys home after school, giving them that familiar loving feeling. She stretched out on the doormat and we could see the silhouette of her paws under the door. Rumi used to play with the doormat and pull it from outside. We used to notice the pulled mat and open the door for her. She used to have that mischievous glint in her eyes!

It feels like a gift, finding this lovable creature in the garden, by serendipity. Whenever I see her playing on the lawn, I am tempted to pick her up and take her home. But she belongs to the community garden. She is everyone’s pet. Let me not take that fragile route again. This time, I am keeping my mind detached, without any emotional investment or longing. I love her enough to let her be free. I don’t seek ownership.

This is how my spiritual journey looks like, somewhere midway, I’d like to believe. Those few minutes of soft purrs every morning are enough for me to get a glimpse of Paradise ... 

or should I say, Purr-A-Dise!

:: New Kitty on the block! ::

Familiar

I took my chance, two decades ago,
on a new T- shirt that seemed trendy.
It wasn't the perfect colour or fit,
but I loved how it made me feel…

With loose hems, timeworn,
over the years, like me, it looks old…
But it picks up the right threads to wrap me,
in the safest dream-filled slumber.

Doesn't matter, if tattered on the outside,
when the inside is soft enough.
As though tailor- made just for me,
with the coveted familiar touch.

Marriage after twenty years
means becoming that snug comfy Tee!
Through mountains, deserts and fields,
we watch each other grow…

#Twentyyears #twodecades

:: The past 25 years have been about chasing goals, acquiring wealth and knowledge, collecting life's souvenirs and memories, and ticking the right boxes. About fulfilling financial responsibilities, giving birth to children, juggling motherhood and career, house, car, garden. pet, travel...trying to fit it all in the correct age bracket. Being torn between two generations, for responsibilities, finances and caregiving, at the same time, losing some most precious and dependable family members.

In the next 25, I would love to have a breather...a break from mental load and responsibilities, to live the unlived life...to do the things that were missed because of parenthood or to take the chances not taken because of financial burdens. I hope for peace , inner fulfillment, creative goals and dreams that were seen together, and more passion projects to be executed.

I hope to fly with no strings attached, detached...yet together in supporting each other. ::

:: Be the Comfy Tee! :: 

:: See LOVE in everything! ::