STOP

Happy 2026! This one is a milestone year for us in many ways.

Firstly, I am extremely thankful for everything that 2025 had to teach me. Mainly I have learnt to accept constant change, which means, CHANGE is the only constant in this equation of life! We cannot keep holding on to the same things forever. Forever is almost a myth! We have to be flexible, adaptable and open to learning some good things from the new generations.

I love the gen Z trends and words - - - micro shifting, micro retirement, rage baiting, aura farming, career minimalism,  trad aesthetic , identity stacking, soft power posting…Oh I love them all! In fact I have been believing in some of the gen Z concepts even through the millennial era long before they were named! Delulu? Sus? Whatevs!

If I can think of one word for 2026 it should be BALANCE.

While the year is still NEW, this time instead of a TO-DO list or a TO-DO-BETTER list I came across this unique idea of a STOP DOING List for the new year!

So in 2026 I will STOP - - -

1. Over thinking/ Over analyzing
2. Trying too hard for perfection.
3. Over explaining myself - my plans/ decisions/ actions.
4. Feeling guilty for resting/not doing what I am “supposed to be doing” according to others.
5. Getting very angry/ irritated/disturbed for small things.
6. Chasing that perfect job! (It doesn't exist!)
7. Feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness.
8. Underplaying my personality/ abilities.
9. Being scared of taking up new challenges outside my comfort zone.
10. Buying new clothes that I don't really need!
11. Wanting phases/events to just get over. ( I need to learn to enjoy the process, not just the end product; the journey, not just the destination.)
12. Worrying about the future all the time.
13. Reacting too soon.
14. Expecting that everything will go as per my plans/ instructions/ expectations.
15. Trying to fit in precast moulds of one size fits all.

The Wind will Carry Us

This year hasn't really gone the way I had imagined at the beginning. But that's exactly why I have learnt some important lessons. Life is unpredictable. Change is constant. We can never really plan our life. “The Wind Will Carry Us”--- just like the Iranian movie I watched earlier this year.

Even though things took a different route, I am thankful for many turns that my life has taken. I am proud of the fact that I stood up for what I believe in yet again. I went back to myself and continued to believe in my abilities, even though my belief system was slightly shaken. My priorities have changed. I want to focus on refilling my cup.

Honestly, I found some answers to profound questions of life while I was running the 5km marathon! This time, not just my husband and my older son, but my younger son also zoomed ahead of me during our yearly winter marathon. I had decided to keep a slow and steady constant speed and not stop at all, just calmly finish the race at my own pace. And I did exactly that. Who would have thought that running a marathon could be a spiritual experience! But it can be, when one finds their own track, pace, mind frame and the wind on the correct side!

Aren't we all running this marathon of life! Our pace and our fellow runners keep changing, but the race continues. The race is to finish well and complete our responsibilities , not to come first!

In November when I lost my cat, Rumi it reminded me of everything I have lost thus far. But one extremely satisfying experience was when my husband and I actually found another neighbour’s lost cat! I watched the woman reunite with her cat and found inexplicable peace. She gave me a hug and told me she had not slept that night and I completely understood what that meant! Has there been a single night I have not thought of Rumi! Then I thought of the concepts of “absence” and “union” from the Rubaiyat of poet Rumi…750 years of absence, eight centuries of presence!

I received my first Royalty for my poetry book, Amaira the little woman. I cannot put a price on that! Its the feeling of finally calling myself a published poet!  I had one gold and one silver pendant made for my precious Rudraksha beads, from that money to make the event immortal, just like the picture of Rumi, my kohl-eyed kitty on the pages of my book, Amaira…

Around Christmas, one of our neighbours had invited us to decorate their tree. We made ‘plans’ for a Secret Santa and cake. Their older son was to visit them for Christmas. But little did anyone know, that life had already made some other plans for him…and their family. I say with a heavy heart, there was no party. Only prayers, moist memories…and a shocking realisation...What is the meaning of life after losing a loved one!

We dream of having the whole perfect cake to ourselves, to decorate it, have it and eat it too… But sometimes all we are left with are two little pieces to call our own. Even then, let's be grateful for what’s on our plate. Those two pieces are enough.

When we plan to watch the splendid meteor shower, all set and ready to go, just like the previous years, this time the sky suddenly seems completely cloudy. The moon is full. We cannot even see the moon, forget the meteor shower! Then what do we do? This is Life. We can just sit out on the terrace instead, with a cup of warm cocoa, because my most favourite wine is also finished! I say, it's okay. The wind will carry us…yet again…into another New Year!

:: The Wind Will Carry Us is a 1999 Iranian film written and directed by Abbas Kiarostami. It is one of my favourite Irani films ::

Same but Different

It's the same time, but not the same road. Similar work, but not the same desk, not the same view! Like water, I've poured myself into another vase to take a new form.

My life since the second half of 2023 was a slow drive, looking at birds and butterflies, enjoying the newness of being a published poet.

This spring season, I have changed the gear, taken the right turn onto the fast lane.

I've been here before, but I feel ready to look at my familiar landscapes from a whole new APERTURE!

Last year, I made a decision to move away from the corporate burnout, to choose clearly between designing and management. I kept an open diary, took it easy and worked on some small scale freelance projects.

But it was by serendipity that I came across a new opportunity and I decided to give it a shot. Financial independence is very very important to me. I cannot allow myself to be financially dependent on my husband. That's how my sister and I have been raised. I'm not comfortable just being a fancy artist and a poet and not a professional. Hence I've accepted this new route that promises to let me stay very close to landscape design, at the same time, allowing me time to focus on the artist and poet parts of me. I hope to sidestep the burnout and prioritize “life ”in the work-life balance. 

My first item from the new year resolution list has definitely been ticked off. Lets just say, as long as the mind and body can take it, keep working, earning, saving and leading a financially and creatively fulfilling life. Of course, fitting everything from our earlier life into a new routine is a challenge. So I’m trying to keep jogging and fast walking, if not running!

Change is good. Different is better than the same! Sometimes changing the surroundings is more effective than changing yourself! How same, how different, is always a question…

I am going to keep drifting with the flow and trying to find my niche again, looking out from this new APERTURE.

#newjob #worklifebalance #professional #notjustpoet #financialfreedom 

:: Through a new APERTURE ::

Last but not the Least

This year has been different. I have realized the difference between solitude and loneliness. I can say that solitude is my happy place where I go back to find myself.

More than anything else, this year has made me take those big risks in life, told me to take a chance without being scared. I gave up a lot for something I have truly believed in for many years. I dared to walk away from the rat race to follow my calling.

I quit my well paying job and my comfortable position. I embraced myself without any designations. I am enough and still worthy without that position and that pay cheque. I don't need to feel guilty for taking a break to do something different.

I have led a fulfilling life, even if I  have earned less money than before. I know, only love and passion are not enough to keep the engine running. But there has been lots in life to keep me motivated. I have celebrated little wins. 

The most important event has of course been the publishing of Amaira, the little woman, my second poetry book, that I had kept safe in my heart for many years. I have received amazing reviews from readers across the world. I am really grateful for this.

Amaira has given me hope. Everything may not happen exactly at a particular time, but it will happen when it has to. I have faith. It has made me a believer.

The second most important event has been my alumni presentation “Landscapes: Outer and Inner”. It has been the right platform I had been looking for, to share my story with the world. I am so happy I came out and spoke about my life and journey of 17 years thus far, through this profession of landscape architecture. It also gave me an opportunity to introduce the underlying depths of my book, Amaira, the little woman, to those from my creative field.

2023 has pushed me to find my purest sources of joy _ _ _ My home, my garden, my cat, my boys.

I talk to my plants every morning as I spot new flowers. When I look at my cat sipping water, it quenches my thirst. When I see my boys cycling fast in the community garden, it just brings a smile to my face.

This year I have also learnt how to capture the best memories in the form of short videos combined to form musical reels. I am experimenting with this creative form of expression.

Since the past couple of months, I have been doing some freelance landscape designing work from home. It fulfills my creative thirst without a lot of stress. But the pay with freelance works is nowhere close to the comfortable monthly pay at the end of each month, that comes from a regular 9 to 5 job. But this is something to keep me going for the time being. 

I am definitely more flexible this year, in all ways possible! My knowledge of yoga has gone up. I learnt about mudras and mantra meditation. I have played more ping pong, I swam more, ran more, cycled more, danced more and I bathroom-sang more than any other year!

I recreated ten of my mother’s recipes. And I have begun to call myself a poet --- proudly and comfortably!

I look forward to new things in 2024. Here are some resolutions and hopes for the new year —

Happy 2024!

1. Earn more, save more.
2. Learn Tai Chi
3. Continue yoga and other forms of staying fit physically and mentally.
4. Try a 10km marathon.
5. Participate in more book fairs and book signing events.
6. Hope for more reviews for Amaira.
7. See Amaira in more book shops and in more homes.
8. Trip with my sister and family as every year to a new place in India.
9. Try to fit all the things learnt in 2023 into the new routines of 2024.
10. Drive on unknown roads bravely.
11. More of gardening, cycling, ping pong, swimming, running, sketching.
12. Keep exploring new places.
13. Face your fears. 
14. Note your insecurities and work on them.
15. Read more books. 
16. Be genuinely interested in football!---I can do that much for my boys ;)
17. Master the freestyle stroke.
18. Eat clean.

:: First Sunrise of 2024 @Hatta ::

Mother's Recipe #4

Sheer Khurma/ 

Shevaya Kheer/ 

Semiya Payasam 

(Vermicelli Pudding)

This month, I thought of trying another simple dish, my mother used to make often on festive days - Shevaya Kheer. With the flavour of Vishu lingering from the week before, I thought why not Semiya Payasam! But then because of the Eid context last week, I finalized my plan on making Sheer Khurma.

These three dishes are pretty much the same thing, just with different consistencies of milk. While Sheer Khurma has a thick rich and creamy form, Shevaya Kheer has slightly more but thinner milk and Semiya Payasam has a lot more milk giving it a pourable consistency. Ingredients are all the same. Just a dash of the local cultural touch makes the difference.

In fact I remember my mother saying, “Lets make Sheer Khurma” for that one Eid holiday we used to get back when I was in India. She used to tell me that it's just a thicker version of the Shevaya Kheer, but sounds a lot more “royal”! Hence it seemed perfect for Eid-Ul-Fitr.

Ingredients :

• Milk - 1 litre (thick, full fat)
• Vermicelli/ Semiya - 1 cup
• Dates - 3-4
• Nuts (Almonds and Cashews) - 5-6 each
• Raisins - a handful
• Cardamom - 3
• Sugar/ Jaggery - about 2 tablespoons
• Ghee - 2-3 teaspoons
• Rose water - ½ teaspoon

Freestyle Method :

• On a hot pan, roast the dates and raisins with ghee and keep aside when aromatic and marinated.
• In the same pan, roast the vermicelli, crushed cardamom and finely chopped nuts until golden brown.
• Add milk + the dates and raisins mixture to the same pan.
• Let the vermicelli cook in the boiling milk. Keep stirring so that the vermicelli does not stick to the bottom of the pan. Let the milk thicken.
• Add sugar/ jaggery and rose water. Continue stirring.
• Turn off the heat when the vermicelli looks thick and wormy and the raisins are juicy and plump.
• Let it cool and garnish with more nuts.
• When warm, it can be eaten as breakfast and when cold, it can be served for dessert.

Of course, a themed plating is a must! After watching too many episodes of my favourite MasterChef Australia, I keep serving those fancy plates of food, telling my family about how I'm more into “Sophisticated Flavours” ;)

But secretly, later on, I added a lot more milk and more sugar to the Sheer Khurma and served it as Payasam to my very very sweet “payasam people” from the south ;)

Mother's Recipe #3

Egg Fried Rice

This recipe is not a trial but a pure dedication. I have made this dish about a thousand times till date…probably once a week for the past twenty years for myself and for my boys! This is the simplest recipe, but this one deserves the first place in my heart. This is the first dish my mother actually taught me, the first that I made as a teenager. This is a survival dish for those super hungry times, in the middle of school projects, vacations, architectural submissions and of course has been my '5 am bento box saviour recipe' for years!

I am sure all my best friends from school must be remembering my mother’s famous egg fried rice in my steel tiffin box. My vegetarian friend, who secretly started eating eggs, was because of this egg fried rice!!!

Even my children’s friends have begun to love it, sharing it from their lunch boxes. My only regret remains, that because of his egg allergy, my husband has never got to taste this recipe. I always tell him, one day, the aroma of my egg recipes will help him get rid of his allergy!

Ingredients : (Serves two extra hungry children)

• 2 -3 Eggs
• ½ Onion
• Cumin seeds/ Cumin powder - 1/2 teaspoon (Personally I like cumin seeds more than powder. But for some finicky boys, I add the powder, because they have some complaints about jeera rice, that “the seeds keep coming in the way of each tasty bite!” )
• Curry leaves - 6-7 (Better if freshly picked from the garden)
• Green chilly - 1
• Turmeric powder - ¼ teaspoon
• Ghee - 1 teaspoon
• Oil (groundnut/ olive/ sunflower) - 1 teaspoon
• Cooked Rice - 2 bowls (leftover rice works perfectly)
• Goda masala (Indian spice mix - optional)
• Fresh coriander for garnish
• Juice of ½ a lemon.
• Salt
• Black Pepper

Freestyle Method :

• Heat the oil in the pan. Add curry leaves, cumin seeds and green chilly. Let them dance in the oil. Add sliced onion. Let him join in the oiled dance until tired and transparent ;)
• Add cumin powder (if you're not using cumin seeds) and turmeric powder. Toss until uniformly coated on the onion.
• Break two eggs. Let them settle for a while and then toss them into a scrambled form. Wait until the eggs are cooked perfectly.
• Add cooked rice and mix. Add ghee, salt, pepper.
• Add that magical touch of the goda masala spice mix and let its aroma get infused with each grain of the rice.                                                                                                                       *Every year, my mother used to give me a jar of her special homemade goda masala mix. It adds that magical touch to absolutely any dish. I have only about a quarter jar of that masala still left with me. I am using it sparingly, as I have never found that exact mix in any shop even in India. It was her special secret recipe, which I have been trying to crack. Somewhere deep inside, I'm scared, what'll happen if that spice jar gets over? It's the last of my mother’s creations that I am holding onto like a child. That masala has pushed me into trying new dishes. I hope I can recreate the magic of that jar one day!
• Garnish the rice with the juice of ½ a lemon and some freshly chopped coriander. No dish is complete without this lemon-coriander duo!
• Fill it in the bento box/ tiffin box after letting the steam settle. Otherwise eat it up right away ;)

Cooking Time - less than 10 minutes (Rice should be cooked beforehand and cooled)

#mothersrecipe3  #eggfriedrice  #bentoboxrecipes  #tiffinbox 

The Unlived Life

A few weeks ago, my son very casually exclaimed, you never laugh these days…You’re always worried. When I had to go to the dentist, he said, “Your jaw seems very tight. Don’t you smile enough”, he joked! These statements seemed light on the surface but had an underlying deeper meaning. Something I wasn't happy with had started showing on my face.

To be a good designer, one must be a sensitive human being. Being sensitive does not mean being emotional. It means to sense things around us. To be observant. To look with our heart and feel with our eyes.

Landscape design cannot happen sitting inside tall glass buildings. As landscape architects, we need to get in touch with nature. We work with living elements and we design livable spaces for living beings!

It's from here that the road forks and asks us to make a decision. One is a natural mud path lined by grasses and trees, with birds singing often and butterflies fluttering about freely towards the creative side. The other promises to “climb the ladder”, wearing the uniform of the collared white shirt , formal black pants and running shoes, hurriedly in an ever-stressed mode towards that race where everyone is running. Where? Why? No-one wants to know.

As we sit behind a wall of multiple computer screens, armored by headphones and keyboards, discussing one square inch of landscape somewhere inside a mall in a far off country, let’s not forget to water that little plant sitting meekly in a pot by our desk! Let’s talk to each other and share our emotions. Let’s be human again and not racehorses who don’t even know where the finish line leads to.

Do we like that doctor who does not examine us anymore, but just continues to type into his computer screen, confirming the prescriptions from google?

Let’s start believing in acquiring knowledge. Just stop running for a while and look behind. Am I running just because everyone else is running? Where have I come from? Where do I wish to go? What we choose to do for a living is a means to an end and not the end itself. It’s time to rethink and to reset.

Deep down in our hearts, we all know what our role is to play in this universe. It's not for no reason that I strive to find time to pen down my thoughts and doodle away my daily woes. If you think you are different, then dare to wander away from the flock and find your own freedom. It's time to snatch the opportunity!

Its time to question everything that takes away our creative freedom…our need to make something beautiful…our chance to see some order in this chaos.

All these days I was trying to find my old comfort on this crisp new chair. But I guess one needs to adjust or accept what comes their way, or then have the courage to challenge it and change it!

A frozen moment of freedom is like a pause between two chapters. I want to enjoy that instant where I can escape responsibility and just bathe in the essential oils of the NOW. It's only when we are ready to release what we think isn’t for us, can we truly embrace the rainbow of Life’s hidden gifts.

There is always a way to be good again. I want to go back to myself. I want to live the unlived life!

I am keeping my diary open and inviting destiny to come over for a relaxed cup of tea, to write something new for me. Something that was always meant for me and is seeking me as well.

#unlivedlife  #freedom # dosomethingnew #quittheratrace #innerpeace #selflove 

Mother's Recipe #2

Finger Millet + Fresh Fruit Cake

This recipe is carried forward from my great grandmother, to my mother and now to me. This cake is not really a fancy dish, but a humble, no fuss, eggless sweet dish, made from the less used flours in the house, combined with seasonal fruits to add a much required freshness. The egg is replaced by yogurt. Hence the cake has a nice balance of sweet and tangy flavours. Cakes in those days were generally steamed in a double boiler as opposed to baking in ovens. Perhaps this method keeps the cake more moist.

My mother and my great grandmother used to make it with semolina + jowar/ sorghum flour with yogurt and fresh mango. I decided to add my own touch by using ragi/finger millet flour, which is rich in iron. I have used fresh strawberries for the “Valentine’s day” context ;)

Ingredients -

• Ragi/ finger millet flour - 1 and 1/2 cups
• Multipurpose flour/ Maida or Semolina - ½ cup
• Fresh fruit (strawberries) - 1/2 cup finely chopped fruit + 1 cup roughly chopped fruit for mashing into the batter.
• Butter - 1/3rd slab
• Baking powder and Soda Bicarb - 1 teaspoon each
• Sugar - ½ cup
• Jaggery - ½ cup
• Yogurt - 2 tablespoons
• Milk - ¼ litre
• Ghee - for greasing the baking tray
• Almonds/walnuts - about 6 Nos, if you like nuts.
• Fresh Cream - just a dollop.

Freestyle Method -

• Take one bowl for the dry ingredients. Sieve all the flours. Add powdered sugar and powdered jaggery into the bowl. Add baking powder and soda bicarb.
• Into another bowl - (the wet bowl) - add butter, roughly chopped strawberries and yogurt. Mix well.
• Add the dry mix to the wet mix . Stir firmly with a spatula adding milk as required. Then blend with a hand mixer till a dosa-batter consistency is achieved.
• Add finely chopped fruit and nuts towards the end. No mixing after this process.
• Grease the baking tray with a few drops of ghee. Pour the magical potion into the tray. With ragi flour, the batter gets a nice light brown “chocolatey” colour, without the cocoa! That's a victory! The boys think it's chocolate cake ;) I understood the whole point of using the less used flours in such dishes. No one can pinpoint our underlying healthy intentions!
• Preheat the oven for 10 minutes at 200 degrees.
• Bake the cake for 40 minutes.
• Take the toothpick test to see if you need another 5 minutes of baking or not!

Finally, I coated the cake with some fresh cream and thinly sliced strawberries to give a chic makeover to this rustic recipe from the villages of the western coast of India, where my great grandmother used to live.

My mother was a great cook and a quick learner, who became the favourite student of my great grandmother. I have become the student now! Everyone says, my personality is a combination of my mother's and my great grandmother's.  Thus these recipes have found a way of reaching out again, this time through me!

#yearofthemillet #milletcake 

:: Finger Millet + Fresh Fruit Cake::

Mother's Recipe #1

Cilantro Bites

My mother would have been 65 today. To continue a celebration of her heavenly birthdays here on earth, today I open the chapter to my mother's recipes to be tried out this year.

My sister and I often talk about what we miss the most from our mother. It’s the food she cooked so effortlessly! As a little girl, I used to sit in my mother’s lap and take a close look at her hands. Her hands always told me stories of garlic and coriander! Her fingers had some magic…of knowing how much of any ingredient goes into a recipe. She never followed any recipe books or cooking shows. Whatever she cooked used to be something learnt from her mother and later from my great grandmother, with a touch of her own innovation.

I used to help her in the kitchen. She would say, “Let me do my quick freestyle cooking. You can finish the dish with your artistic plating.” We made a great team!

I want to keep her legacy alive, to seek her blessings in what I do and to pass on her recipes to the next generation, so that my boys continue to remember her through food. Hence as a part of my new year resolutions, I have decided to recreate twelve of my mother’s simple recipes, one for each month.

I begin this month with one of her favourites and mine - “Cilantro Bites" or "Kothimbir Wadi”. This is a savoury snack made with coriander/cilantro, gram flour and sesame seeds. The hero ingredient here is coriander, which is generally used  as a garnish in most dishes.

Ingredients: (Amounts are from experience and intuition :)

• Coriander – 1 full fresh bunch
• Gram flour - 2-3 tablespoons per batch
• Ginger - one blob
• Garlic - 4-5 cloves
• Peanuts - a handful
• Green chilly - 2 maybe
• Sesame seeds - 2 teaspoons
• Turmeric - 1/2 teaspoon
• Coriander powder - 1/2 teaspoon
• Asafetida - 1/4 teaspoon
• Salt - less is more!

Freestyle method :

• Wash the fresh coriander under running water and chop it finely. Avoid thick stems.
• Mix sieved gram flour and water to form a smooth batter of dosa consistency and add the chopped coriander to it.
• Roast the peanuts and sesame seeds separately on a dry pan on the side.
• Grind a mixture of ginger, garlic, green chilly and the roasted peanuts.
• Add the mixture to the batter along with coriander powder, turmeric, asafetida and the roasted sesame seeds.
• Mix well to an uttappam consistency.
• Steam it on a double boiler for about 20minutes.
• Allow the coriander “cake” to cool.
• Cut into bite sized squares. Alternatively, it can be rolled into cylinders for steaming and then cut into round pieces.
• Pan fry until golden brown.
• Optionally, season with curry leaves, grated coconut.
• Keep one batch aside for that neat 'MasterChef- style plating' and the perfect Instagram shot.
• Allow the other batch to be gobbled up in minutes by the boys!

:: Cilantro Bites ::

Go Back to Yourself

Did anyone catch the falling stars of yearend?

We were too busy making wishes.

Now the sky looks empty!

Let's go back to ourselves,

to look for the missing light...

:: Thank You 2022 for giving me so many reasons to smile! After a heavy 2021, 2022 brought a breath of fresh breeze in many ways . But here's what I need for 2023::

• Focus on what you have always believed in.
• Bring out more from each day.
• Stay active and motivated.
• Stop complaining, start doing.
• Keep mother’s recipes alive, try one each month.
• Self care and exercise.
• 'No strings attached' attitude.
• Work is duty, work is worship, but I will not get emotionally involved.
• Try funky, quirky new things.
• Go back to yourself.
• If not now, when?
• Keep taking pictures and videos of home, family, nature.
• Take long walks.
• Discover new paths.