Life in Moments

They say a writer’s life is a lonely one. I say, so is a new mum’s. As my husband and older son step out every morning, I spend my days taking care of my baby feeling totally committed to the situation but absolutely disconnected with the world around.

For the first few months I had help from my mother and mother in law. But now we have to manage on our own for a while. I know I deserve a break. But I also know how important it is to establish a secure, loving, stable routine and environment for the baby at this stage, which will help him face tough situations later in life. Being a hands-on mum can be a satisfying as well as a learning experience. “Me time” and social interactions can take a back seat.

I find quiet happiness in carefully clipping my baby’s nails, applying cream to his rosy cheeks, combing his soft brown hair. All my compassion is poured out to my baby. My life has changed completely. Even if all the people outside were building houses on the moon, I wouldn’t be bothered!

Managing two kids with totally different schedules and needs is extremely difficult. I almost die each night and then somehow become alive at dawn with a new found courage to do it all properly.

When God plays the card of time, we should learn to live in moments.

This morning unknowingly I caught some shuteye. It felt as if I had been sleeping for a long time. I was woken up by tiny fingers playing on my face. My older son had snuggled into our bed and dozed off. My husband had already made tea and breakfast. My heart just melted. In this very moment I had lived a lifetime.

We spend Friday afternoons with soup and salami sandwiches watching a family movie while the baby sleeps. We play a few games of cards each evening before dinner. Some days the routine gets more relaxed and we accidently find lots of play time to document in pictures. My bond with my older son has also strengthened in these days and he comes back to me enthusiastically telling tales about his summer camp.I had missed this in the first few months post delivery when all of us were adjusting to the presence of the new baby brother. 

The sweetest gesture however was when my husband bought a T-shirt for me (two sizes too small ;) He said that when he went to buy Tees for the boys he thought he should buy something for me as well. Even though it doesn’t fit me and might not fit me for years, I am going to preserve it for that time when it might just fit.

Time is elusive but moments aren’t. In these back breaking days and sleepless nights, I have discovered these invaluable treasures.

No matter where the world is running in a rat race towards earning more money, buying bigger cars, even bigger houses, I know that I want to earn just enough to fulfill a normal life. I want to earn rich experiences and magical moments through challenges that teach you to stretch your limits, making you realize, life is much easier otherwise. Instead of leaving behind property for my children, I want to leave a strong upbringing that will teach them to have their own dreams and chase them with their own abilities.

I know I will get help in a few weeks. I know I will go back to work and life will come back on track. But for now, this is my life --- a life in moments.