Valley Tunes

Under the cool shade
of pomegranate trees,
life drifts sluggishly,
tugging a sunlit afternoon.

I love the patterns,
leaves draw upon my skin.
Of coffee-coloured watermarks,
stippled by the breeze.

My ruled open diary
is ready to be filled,
with unlimited unruly poems
of dramatized daily musings.

Birdsong garnished
with the buzz of bees,
rebounds in a distant echo
from the dust green vale,
where a lazy town sits tucked in.

Mountain trails take me along…
nowhere but just here,
to dwell in this fluttering symphony
of a thousand valley tunes.

:: I found this poem scribbled in my diary on one sun filled mountain-top afternoon in the pomegranate orchard at Al Hamra, Oman, during our Eid break .

Sometimes it feels like life is going nowhere in particular. That's when we need feel-good poems to envelope us in a safe loving dreamy embrace.  Things will unfold in their own time. Have faith in yourself...Until then, enjoy the summer!

:: Pomegranate Orchard ::

:: Handwritten draft of the poem :: 

Distanced

My life has mainly been about satisfying the urge to constantly create something new. People like me cannot live without creating regularly. Money is not the only driving force for creative pursuits. This constant battle with finding time to create is something everyone may not understand. Just going to an office and completing your hours for a pay cheque that defines your worth is far less satisfying than a freshly written poem that started out as a thought and became a long verse, a chapter sieved out from handwritten notes or an idea for the next artwork or the ‘ Eureka’ moments in designing the next product...

To maintain this balance is not an easy task. Of work that brings creative satisfaction and the work that brings good money. More often, they do not come together as a package. I could juggle these in my twenties. In my thirties, my children were the biggest priority, so I compromised my expectations from work and life in general. But now, in my forties, I am not able to compromise on things I cannot agree with.

Balance is needed more than ever before. No questions, no explanations, no validation. I need to focus on what I enjoy and derive self worth from it. Responsibilities have been taken and fulfilled for all these twenty years. Now its my time to give myself some benefit of doubt.

I am tired of explaining my side of the story, mostly to my inner self that demands this rule book! I always feel my mother would have understood all this, if only she was here. She spent her whole life justifying the same to those typical 'inside the box' people or those who have absolutely nothing else in their lives to hold onto except for their own over rated idea of a full time job.

I just feel like switching OFF and going into isolation mode. I am bored of maintaining these long distance relationships with almost everyone! I guess working from home does that to you. Also, this idea of everything being online seemed cute in COVID times, but these chat groups do not feel like a connection anymore.

There is a family group that is mostly meant for wishing people on their birthdays and on festivals. Yes, it helps keeping a connection in the simplest way possible for digital relationships. But is anyone really interested in wishing each other well these days? Or even remembering birthdays? An ‘HBD’ and a heart emoji are all that’s left. This brings longing and expectations that are left unfulfilled, because my mother would always be the first one to wish people on their birthdays with nice personalized long messages and blessings. I miss those so much...not just for me but especially for my children.

There are school-mothers groups which can become pretty stressful at times or of no use on actually important occasions.

There are school groups and college groups that came together in the pre- COVID times, through wonders of the WhatsApp. They felt amazing in those times because of how everyone from that particular batch came together through a smart phone and got to know everything about each others lives from the past ten years. But now its only for ‘forwards’ and politics.

The ones you think were genuinely interested in conversations, turns out are not after they react with just one thumbs up for something that deserves a dialogue.

Then there are extended family groups that make you feel if there is any importance left any more in sharing anything that is remotely personal ?

This digital relationships trend peaked around 2020 when sharing was what everyone did. It felt happy then. But now it doesn't.

I am finding it hard to see the whole point in maintaining these formal digital relationships with everyone. There is always something that gets lost in translation. I prefer my solitude over these kind of interactions.

I am beginning to lose interest in the concept of friendships these days. Even close-friends groups don't really feel soulful anymore.   I long for days when we used to just show up at friend’s houses unannounced and ended up having a great time. Now its always about planning the next “meet” years in advance. And when it finally happens, it doesn't feel as emotionally satisfying as I would have liked it to be!

I want a break from all long distance digital relationships. I want only real interactions. But I want real satisfaction from them as well. I don't know if this is even possible.

My mind always crawls back into that void that my mother left behind. The depression only fades. It never completely goes away. Its a knot of insecurity etched forever in the mind or heart or throat or gut or stomach...it moves around the body looking for an anchor. I don't know if I will ever stop feeling “ that feeling”, which makes me pace around the cold floors of the house, from one room to the other, looking for something, which I have never found yet...

Horizon

When an unstoppable sense
needs to return to the ground,
the wheel of life
gets stuck in difficult sands.

Melt yourself out and walk slowly
towards a new horizon…
where even the tallest soaring sky
bends low to reach out to the earth.

#selfseek #upsanddowns #throughthickandthin #reset  #jointhedots #largermasterplan

The Wind will Carry Us

This year hasn't really gone the way I had imagined at the beginning. But that's exactly why I have learnt some important lessons. Life is unpredictable. Change is constant. We can never really plan our life. “The Wind Will Carry Us”--- just like the Iranian movie I watched earlier this year.

Even though things took a different route, I am thankful for many turns that my life has taken. I am proud of the fact that I stood up for what I believe in yet again. I went back to myself and continued to believe in my abilities, even though my belief system was slightly shaken. My priorities have changed. I want to focus on refilling my cup.

Honestly, I found some answers to profound questions of life while I was running the 5km marathon! This time, not just my husband and my older son, but my younger son also zoomed ahead of me during our yearly winter marathon. I had decided to keep a slow and steady constant speed and not stop at all, just calmly finish the race at my own pace. And I did exactly that. Who would have thought that running a marathon could be a spiritual experience! But it can be, when one finds their own track, pace, mind frame and the wind on the correct side!

Aren't we all running this marathon of life! Our pace and our fellow runners keep changing, but the race continues. The race is to finish well and complete our responsibilities , not to come first!

In November when I lost my cat, Rumi it reminded me of everything I have lost thus far. But one extremely satisfying experience was when my husband and I actually found another neighbour’s lost cat! I watched the woman reunite with her cat and found inexplicable peace. She gave me a hug and told me she had not slept that night and I completely understood what that meant! Has there been a single night I have not thought of Rumi! Then I thought of the concepts of “absence” and “union” from the Rubaiyat of poet Rumi…750 years of absence, eight centuries of presence!

I received my first Royalty for my poetry book, Amaira the little woman. I cannot put a price on that! Its the feeling of finally calling myself a published poet!  I had one gold and one silver pendant made for my precious Rudraksha beads, from that money to make the event immortal, just like the picture of Rumi, my kohl-eyed kitty on the pages of my book, Amaira…

Around Christmas, one of our neighbours had invited us to decorate their tree. We made ‘plans’ for a Secret Santa and cake. Their older son was to visit them for Christmas. But little did anyone know, that life had already made some other plans for him…and their family. I say with a heavy heart, there was no party. Only prayers, moist memories…and a shocking realisation...What is the meaning of life after losing a loved one!

We dream of having the whole perfect cake to ourselves, to decorate it, have it and eat it too… But sometimes all we are left with are two little pieces to call our own. Even then, let's be grateful for what’s on our plate. Those two pieces are enough.

When we plan to watch the splendid meteor shower, all set and ready to go, just like the previous years, this time the sky suddenly seems completely cloudy. The moon is full. We cannot even see the moon, forget the meteor shower! Then what do we do? This is Life. We can just sit out on the terrace instead, with a cup of warm cocoa, because my most favourite wine is also finished! I say, it's okay. The wind will carry us…yet again…into another New Year!

:: The Wind Will Carry Us is a 1999 Iranian film written and directed by Abbas Kiarostami. It is one of my favourite Irani films ::

Sip of the Night

Evening, mellowed 

by late noon light,

reveals the crisp edge 

of a clear blue sea.

Stealing the last bronze

from a half-set sun,

Venus becomes a diamond

in Moon’s crescent cup.

With a slice 

of dream-studded skies,

this dark fluid of the night

fills me again, one sip at a time…

:: Scribbled while we waited to catch a glimpse of comet Neowise...but no luck! ::

Direction YOU

When the mind loses its way,

You are my North.

Brightening many a dull moment,

You become my East.

Bringing in warm winds of change,
You are my South.

Set for a better tomorrow,
You become my West.

Where all my faith gets collected,

You are my Qibla!

Through the Woods with Birds

Mosaic of the evening skies,

framed by sun-lit branches.

Orange dust of dusk,

sprinkled upon tree tops.

I walk through the woods,

yellow- brown leaves  

rustling under lone footsteps.

There is no path.

I follow my hushed breath.

Light peeps in and out, 

tracing the windows above. 

A sparrow party

sings on the Acacia,

as a pair of green parakeets

cuddles atop the thorny twig.

Subdued coos of laughing doves,

dissolve against brisk moves 

of a camouflaged quail.

The sight of birds 
in candid flight,

does bring back wings

to many a weary thought...

:: On an off-mood evening, I stepped out for a solitary walk in the woods near my home. The silence in the rustling leaves, the wind whispering secrets to my ears and just watching the birds at their usual evening play brought back a cheer to my mind. I took my boys(and my camera) the next evening to experience the same magic in the woods, where we spotted quails, parakeets, bulbuls, sparrows, mynas and laughing doves ::

:: Parakeet in Flight ::

:: Bulbul ::

:: Quails ::

Two Cities

I live in two cities ---

at the same time.

For when I close my eyes,

I can soak up the spiced green air

whilst looking at bare naked mountains,

on the desert’s dusty edge…

From inside work towers of frozen glass,

I see lush trees touching misty clouds.

As moistened memories

trickle down kohl-lined eyes,

I carry them along

on my new butterfly wings!

Yes, I live in two cities,

at the same time,

treasuring most,

my mind’s journey in between…

Lines

Increasing lines of candles,

on the cake;

Myriad curly lines,

in fading hues, I count…

But fine lines that multiply

along rounded edges of my face,

suddenly curve into a smile.

For among these infinite lines

were some timeless thinking lines,

sketched out as ideas---

hoping to take on

the third dimension…

Today I see them grow

into an evergreen experience!

They enclose the vast blue sky,

and connect the scattered mangroves…

It all started with a dream,

to add to the desert,

a few shades of green.

Within wavy patterns of island sands,

my design lines now echo alive,

as I silently continue,

to craft spaces for life!

:: It's such a satisfying feeling to see two of my landscape design projects on site, being built! ::

Urban Forest

One lone Ficus stands tall between two equally high buildings in the neighbourhood. In the midst of balconies and mosque minarets, this singular tree becomes home to many birds and tiny creatures that migrated to the city years ago. The sun is shining cheerfully on the wings of a bright green parrot this morning. The dew from dawn has made the tree twigs damp. Leaves have a slight shimmer against the light rays. A busy squirrel bounces across a bough, almost as fast as the squirrels that my heartbeats have now become! She hurries by for reasons vastly different than mine!

The black spider is a strong-willed architect today. He weaves an elegantly symmetrical web, almost similar to the web of dreams still awake on my relaxed eyelids. Today is a particularly fresh day. Crisp and clear, almost like my mind frame. Sometimes, lofty clouds of usual worries float along, almost similar to the white fluffy ones that are gliding past the top branches of the Ficus.

Certain Mr. M has left his bicycle against the thick peeling trunk of the tree. But our only Ficus will gladly become a bike rack for the season and participate in urban life… as much as he likes to look after all the beings living inside, beside and upon his spreading limbs.

I feel pleasantly happy this morn. As happy as the singing cuckoo, hiding in the canopy layers of the deep green foliage. That must be why I noticed her triumphant song on this lovely January day.

The sparrows are now gossiping about their noisy neighbour. It’s almost time for a quick nap and she won’t stop singing!

Some lanky branches gently caress the lit up window ledges where a pair of doves snuggles in chilly winter breeze. I hear their twin cooing echo along the shaded pavement as I quietly drift away from this urban forest with one tree!!

…far until the lively sound is lost to a soulless city noise.

In My City

I came to Abu Dhabi back in October 2006 after getting married in September 2006, looking for a new life. Today I have completed ten years in this city...and a decade of married life. Ten years, ten countries, ten thousand memories, ten million inspirations and some special memorable events --- the most important being the birth of my boys in this city. Amidst six years of parenthood and ten years of professional experience, my quiet Happiness --- my own published book of poems peeps out proudly from my book shelf and reminds me of the most amazing mix of work, home, travel and kids this city life has given me.

But the real sense of satisfaction comes to me when I see a park designed by me sitting complete along the streets of this city . This park at Al Adla on the outskirts of Abu Dhabi has associated my name with the city forever.Its picnic areas, play areas , plaza and sports fields make me feel that I have, in a humble way, contributed to the image of the city. What can be more satisfying than to see my boys play in the park designed by their mum! This has been a dream come true for the landscape architect in me as well as the mother. To see each line I sketched, now real on the city fabric.... to see each space I visualised, now become an experience. 

The fact that my design turned into reality in a city that I can call my own is an endearing node along my mindroads. There have been times when I felt lost and disoriented. But today, I have the quiet happiness not only by my side, but also inside me. I am in Abu Dhabi but often take little memory trains to Pune, where I was born and raised.I live in both cities at the same time. 
After a decade of wandering self exploration through writing, poetry, art, architecture, travelling, photography and juggling it all with motherhood and homemaking, I find a sense of belonging to this place... of being protected and grounded ...where inspiration finds me once again.

#aladlapark #landscapedesign #parksbytasha #playgroundsdesign #landscapesouterandinner 

Blurred

A blurred vision

awaits you,

O little boys of today.

Where tiny carefree feet

may not dance candidly

on sunny golden beaches…

Where blue sea waves,

burst playfully no more

and winds too scared to fly free

beyond uncertain skies.

Where bright red colour

fills neither flowers, nor rainbows,

but scars torn split lands…

Inside fragile homes

when your innocent hands

play with pretend guns and swords,

little do they know of the ‘big toys’

in the real world outside…

: : In the wake of the current situation of the world, as a parent, I often wonder about our childrens' future in these unsafe, uncertain times . We can only hope that they find little bits of beauty in their world, enough to safeguard their innocence...

The Roller-coaster, that's Life!

As the noon sun lightens up my work desk, I drift back to a familiar dreamy daze. The olive green floors of the perfectly colour coordinated office hold in harmony, the carefully selected black and white furniture.  Far beyond the sea of buildings is the turquoise blue sea, surrounding the sands of Lulu Island. I see the Abu Dhabi Corniche on one side and the same but different Salaam street on the other side, snaking and squeezing between glass structures. It’s the same quiet contemplation I always indulged in after lunch. But everything around has changed. For a split second, I feel like pinching myself back to reality. Am I still sitting in my old office daydreaming about the future, expecting a change, or has all this really happened! Its like the past few months have been erased from my memory.

Suddenly I am back to my favourite design immersion, deeply involved in sketching, forgetting things around me. But a slight movement of butterfly wings inside me keep reminding of the fact that I am not alone.

Life has opened new chapters for me, both of which, I have experienced before. But I have shed my old skin. I have a new routine. It feels unreal. Its true, if life has to change, it changes in one second. Time just waits for the right moment. And then destiny plays her part.

I guess that’s where the cliché comes from. Life is a roller-coaster ride. Let me sit back and enjoy.

In the Moment

It’s a warm dark desert night.

Cuddled up, I laze in the sofa.

I can hear my thoughts,

cutting across broken breathings.

I have a burst of gratitude.

On this yellow lit midnight hour,

the lamp spills hope,

from behind its delicate paper shade.

It fills the corner of the room,

and travels into my mind.

A slight wind of change, I sense,

through the long shadowed window,

as it teases the curtain.

I am aware, awake, not alone…

making little notes of movement

in the subdued ambience.

Sounds of coziness attract me,

but I continue to soak up in the moment,

as the pillow lightly kisses my cheek.

Unhurried streets link in light poles

and touch the darkness,

as my eyes turn them into stars.

Clock ticks through this unruffled silence

and I heave a sigh of relief.

Lips curve into a smile.

Life has come a long way.

Looks like I'll sleep well tonight.

Mistress of Midnight

A silence so beautiful

resonates from silver lined dunes.

Molten star dust trickles

into a kohl-eyed darkness.

Her long black silken veil

seems woven by a milky band.

Embroidered onto her abaya,

the glitter of a thousand stars.

She arrives quietly

on a wind chariot

and ignites her mysterious mood.

The crescent moon of dawn

unties her thick shadowy tresses

and empties his silvery cup of dew

into her flowing star studded gown.

She casts a sleepless spell -- eerie but erotic .

Rhythmic breaths dissolve

into an eternal hypnotic stillness.

The skies want to celebrate tonight

with a shower of falling stars.

Awe filled yearning hearts

wait to steal a wish-laden glimpse,

as the glow from their magic wands
reflects in drown able eyes.

She disappears into the horizon

leaving dreams on closing eyelids...

Who are we,

but mere spectators,

in the desert’s soulful ode

to the mistress of midnight…

: : Describing an overwhelming  experience of desert camping with an astronomy group  , on the night of the meteor shower. Thanks to all those fellow star gazers who silently but enthusiastically organized the ‘”star party” ...for each one to wish upon a star! It was an experience of a life time. Truly magical.

From the beginning of this year, I was feeling disappointed about having missed the New Year fireworks in spite of being there to view them. Now I don’t.  I got to experience nature’s fantastic celebration!

The Greener Side

For a landscape design project in the city,almost every evening before summer, I used to go out in the sun for a field study. Initially, I considered it as a big difficulty, but very soon, I started appreciating the freshness it brought to my daily work routine.

I would be all by myself, equipped with CAD plans, satellite maps, hat, water bottle, camera, some markers in my site pant pockets and a very alert mind. The first task used to be to get to the exact zone on the site and then to orient myself as per the maps. Then would start a visual survey , drawing up quick sectional details, marking up the drawings with green and red sketch pens and then taking pictures — first the important ones and then of some street cats, a bird’s nest found on a tree , an unusual flower or a rare paving type. After exactly an hour of a great deal of hard work, I would look forward to my chicken roll and juice break. Depending on the zone on the site, I would eat in my car, parked at an interesting spot to get framed views of the new buildings or at times under the shade of a nice Delonix that I had discovered on a stray lawn patch.

There were times when a cat would accompany me from under the shrubs and seldom, a bird would tweet along, naively disturbing my tree survey count. Despite the harsh sun burning my face and soaking my shirt, I was just so glad to escape the regular time frames.

For the two hours that I used to be on site, I would forget everything else and just be in my own work world of relating maps to the actual site conditions and making mental recordings and then graphic.  I realized, something done with maximum concentration brings in a sense of determination and enjoyment in spite of it being tiring. I had always wanted to get a closer look at the typical local villa gardens in dense residential neighbourhoods. This exercise gave me a chance to actually know how many trees and what kind of plantation each and every house has. I got to know the secret shaded shortcuts along the villa walls, reminding of my childhood hiding places.  I know exactly where a full grown date palm stands and how sweet its fruit is. I know now, in which block, someday some designer got inspired to create a “Falling Waters” without water, in the middle of the desert!  I know that there are exactly a hundred trees that line the mosque street and that there is a lonely rose bush on the less visited side of the pocket park.

The most memorable part was that on one of the site visit days my zone of survey was very close to my husband’s site office. He just happened to give me a call and I said I was right outside his building! That evening we had a romantic coffee date at the gas station, just like our good old college days…

I went back to work and documented all the site findings in numbers, reports and images, hoping to somehow capture that spirit and my secret life of each evening into the design concepts.I do not know if I did... But I do know,whenever I pass along those roads, thoughts will always recall my experience of getting to see the greener side of the city that added some greener moments to my life.