Back To Life Hour

After coming face to face with some life changing events in the last few months, I had lost interest in almost everything. But some days back, I found a post pregnancy massage voucher gifted by my husband few months ago. I had preserved it for a quiet moment of indulgence and pampering when I would go back to work after completing my maternity leave filled with hard work playing a full time mum of two! Little did I know what life had in store for me…

Anyway, leaving aside all the given up spirit, I decided to avail the voucher as it was close to expiry. Last Saturday afternoon I sneaked out for one hour of ‘me time’ when the boys were taking a nap. I had one hour to think….think about anything under the sky!

And that’s when I realized that instead of thinking about life and its ups and downs, I had a great opportunity to recall all the beautiful things about my life till now. My thoughts drifted to dreamland out of habit. I started making mental lists of all the good experiences that life has given me till date and what all I can still continue to do in life.

A few days ago, I had surrendered. I had decided to stop dreaming. I had lost hope in my own self. But I realised,this was just one of those unknown points in time. When life’s happiness does not depend on the stresses of the modern world that is a slave of technology, one can lead a fulfilling life even in modest situations.

I can still write. I can still paint, take pictures and follow all my artistic pursuits that have genuinely given me happiness and satisfaction. I should not limit my self-expression. That’s what makes me ‘me’ .That is what my children know me as. In fact I want to teach them to find contentment in the little incidents of everyday life. Your identity is not associated with the material belongings you own but with what you do as a person.

Maybe things will start flowing smoothly again. Maybe a major change will take place. After all, life is a medley of tears and smiles. At least I have nothing more to lose.

I can still watch the winter sunset on the cloud spilled December sky. I can still lie down on the terrace by night and watch the clouds go by as they light up each little twinkling star while they pass. I can sip my tea with its vapours merging with the fog. I can stroll with my boys along the mangrove facing promenade and watch the silvery skyline of new buildings across the watery edge. I can still find inspiration in the wind blowing through the trees and unplanned bicycle rides on such windy afternoons. I still have some magic beans left in this mixed bag of life. As long as I have my boys, I will think of each day as a gift. I will continue to take every sad song and make it better.

Suddenly I feel rejuvenated. Before I realized, that one hour was over --- the one that brought me back to life!