I am back! To that ‘quiet Happiness’ I left behind for two full years.
Although I wonder why I disappeared from bloggy land when in fact there was so much to write about in this span between end of 2009 and beginning of 2012!
Somewhere I had lost belief in this cyber space and got to writing more in a ‘real diary’.
I had a rebirth!
We returned back from Greece with a gift! The end of 2009 marked a new beginning with a “sweet Realization” – not so sweet initially because of its suddenness! I was pregnant!
Life was so different. I didn’t know what exactly I should be doing now that I was pregnant when none of my close friends were!!
Well, the ‘shock state’ passed and my husband and I reached that serene love mode where we had calmly accepted that we were going to be parents. I still remember that first ultra sound scan at three months ---there was nothing much to see, in fact like the famous FRIENDS episode, where Rachel doesn’t know what to look at --- the same happened to me, except when the nurse said, “Look, that’s your baby”, my husband and I both broke down in tears! …(left the nurse wondering if she had said something wrong!)
But 2010 started with this good news – shared with all in a nice artistic way ---“sweet realization”
The continued year was just about the bump. Nice dinners, three tiffin boxes to work, strange colleagues touching my tummy!, boss being pretty okay with almost everything ;) parental classes at Corniche Hospital , my maternity fashion photo shoot by Mr. nice husband , my bouts of flowing poetry and the most amazing baby shower gifted by my dear friends in Abu Dhabi – they made me feel like a queen!
Of course, after the sweetest Indian style baby shower from my mother, the highlight was my “stunt” of returning back to Abu Dhabi within the first week of my planned four month maternity break in Pune!!
I guess my baby was destined to be born in the UAE – on that mildly hot but happening evening of 20th June 2010.
After endless yelling, kicking and unmentionably awkward occurrences, I had a C section (quite common now, but a bit disappointing for me, who skipped that chapter from ‘what to expect when you are expecting’) It’s a boy!!! (We knew it from my 5th month, but did not tell anybody because of the rare superstitious attacks of typical Indianness.)
Almost the whole of 2010 drifted away immersed in motherload full of never ending feeding sessions (that make you feel like a cow) and the series of firsts (the best part). I quit my job after my maternity leave was utilized as I wanted to concentrate on being a full time mum….but very very soon, by the time my son, Arhaant, started standing up on his own feet,I decided to go back to work.
In this generation, kids need to know about a mother's sense of self and that she works too in order to make a comfortable living. Motherhood in its first year is most beautiful to look back at. While you are deeply tied up in it, it’s the most challenging and exhaustive parent trap.
Nonetheless,for every mother, her child is the best and for every child, his mother. I learnt this even before I got to see my own baby…My husband saw him and held him first…and after that enormous operation trauma,(thanks to the local anesthesia), inspite of the fact that most newborns look quite thin and pitiful,the first thing he said was that our baby is so cute! I am so thankful to him...
It was that memorable moment when I first realised I was a mum!
Luckily I got a job soon and tiddly toddler A started going to a playschool.
It wasn’t an easy event chain, fighting with post pregnancy depression(mine lasted for a year) dropping little A to school hiding my tears behind my sunglasses, resisting his tight hug and pleas…
We celebrated is big First with a trip to Cyprus. Lots written on this in my “real” diary, so, let’s skip the details. He was walking properly at one. That was his best birthday gift I guess. And the fact that we managed this trip pretty well, supporting each other at all the difficult confusing turns in Life, was in itself the best celebration of a year full of firsts. We kept reminding each other of what a good job the other one is doing!
On those long tired days,
you stole a longing look …
Whenever I gave up with exhaustion,
you amused yourself with your own songs…
As I battled a numbed sense of confusion
you showered upon your new mum, a reassuring smile.
Sheer happiness on new developments,
excitement limitless on known voices…
Motherhood kept moving with the flow,
intoxicated on past memories and future plans
but deeply aware of the present,
constantly moulding to newness!
And at this quiet moment of celebration,
of a year full of firsts, we agreed on the same ---
This boy came to our lives
only to absorb all that accumulated love,
that was reserved just for him!
With walking, followed running, climbing over mysterious tempting objects, opening cupboards, playing football on the terrace on hot sunny Ramadan noons and his first trip to India filled with many an adventure.2011 passed by too.
My parents were with us for New Year. Family, fun, barbecue, new friends, new playschool, even more frills got added to an action packed life.
2012 started on a good note, even though everyone kept calling it the ‘end of the world’.I reopened the lane to my own ‘quietHappiness’
That’s how the two years quietly slipped from my documentation. Looks like it was only because the eventful happenings in my ‘real’ life were slightly out of touch with the electronic world!
Although I wonder why I disappeared from bloggy land when in fact there was so much to write about in this span between end of 2009 and beginning of 2012!
Somewhere I had lost belief in this cyber space and got to writing more in a ‘real diary’.
I had a rebirth!
We returned back from Greece with a gift! The end of 2009 marked a new beginning with a “sweet Realization” – not so sweet initially because of its suddenness! I was pregnant!
Life was so different. I didn’t know what exactly I should be doing now that I was pregnant when none of my close friends were!!
Well, the ‘shock state’ passed and my husband and I reached that serene love mode where we had calmly accepted that we were going to be parents. I still remember that first ultra sound scan at three months ---there was nothing much to see, in fact like the famous FRIENDS episode, where Rachel doesn’t know what to look at --- the same happened to me, except when the nurse said, “Look, that’s your baby”, my husband and I both broke down in tears! …(left the nurse wondering if she had said something wrong!)
But 2010 started with this good news – shared with all in a nice artistic way ---“sweet realization”
The continued year was just about the bump. Nice dinners, three tiffin boxes to work, strange colleagues touching my tummy!, boss being pretty okay with almost everything ;) parental classes at Corniche Hospital , my maternity fashion photo shoot by Mr. nice husband , my bouts of flowing poetry and the most amazing baby shower gifted by my dear friends in Abu Dhabi – they made me feel like a queen!
Of course, after the sweetest Indian style baby shower from my mother, the highlight was my “stunt” of returning back to Abu Dhabi within the first week of my planned four month maternity break in Pune!!
I guess my baby was destined to be born in the UAE – on that mildly hot but happening evening of 20th June 2010.
After endless yelling, kicking and unmentionably awkward occurrences, I had a C section (quite common now, but a bit disappointing for me, who skipped that chapter from ‘what to expect when you are expecting’) It’s a boy!!! (We knew it from my 5th month, but did not tell anybody because of the rare superstitious attacks of typical Indianness.)
Almost the whole of 2010 drifted away immersed in motherload full of never ending feeding sessions (that make you feel like a cow) and the series of firsts (the best part). I quit my job after my maternity leave was utilized as I wanted to concentrate on being a full time mum….but very very soon, by the time my son, Arhaant, started standing up on his own feet,I decided to go back to work.
In this generation, kids need to know about a mother's sense of self and that she works too in order to make a comfortable living. Motherhood in its first year is most beautiful to look back at. While you are deeply tied up in it, it’s the most challenging and exhaustive parent trap.
Nonetheless,for every mother, her child is the best and for every child, his mother. I learnt this even before I got to see my own baby…My husband saw him and held him first…and after that enormous operation trauma,(thanks to the local anesthesia), inspite of the fact that most newborns look quite thin and pitiful,the first thing he said was that our baby is so cute! I am so thankful to him...
It was that memorable moment when I first realised I was a mum!
Luckily I got a job soon and tiddly toddler A started going to a playschool.
It wasn’t an easy event chain, fighting with post pregnancy depression(mine lasted for a year) dropping little A to school hiding my tears behind my sunglasses, resisting his tight hug and pleas…
We celebrated is big First with a trip to Cyprus. Lots written on this in my “real” diary, so, let’s skip the details. He was walking properly at one. That was his best birthday gift I guess. And the fact that we managed this trip pretty well, supporting each other at all the difficult confusing turns in Life, was in itself the best celebration of a year full of firsts. We kept reminding each other of what a good job the other one is doing!
On those long tired days,
you stole a longing look …
Whenever I gave up with exhaustion,
you amused yourself with your own songs…
As I battled a numbed sense of confusion
you showered upon your new mum, a reassuring smile.
Sheer happiness on new developments,
excitement limitless on known voices…
Motherhood kept moving with the flow,
intoxicated on past memories and future plans
but deeply aware of the present,
constantly moulding to newness!
And at this quiet moment of celebration,
of a year full of firsts, we agreed on the same ---
This boy came to our lives
only to absorb all that accumulated love,
that was reserved just for him!
With walking, followed running, climbing over mysterious tempting objects, opening cupboards, playing football on the terrace on hot sunny Ramadan noons and his first trip to India filled with many an adventure.2011 passed by too.
My parents were with us for New Year. Family, fun, barbecue, new friends, new playschool, even more frills got added to an action packed life.
2012 started on a good note, even though everyone kept calling it the ‘end of the world’.I reopened the lane to my own ‘quietHappiness’
That’s how the two years quietly slipped from my documentation. Looks like it was only because the eventful happenings in my ‘real’ life were slightly out of touch with the electronic world!
Great post, N and a lovely poem, too!
ReplyDeleteI do remember your email of sweet realization. It was indeed, very artistic!
Now, we too are very much looking forward to this "new" and exciting phase :)
Will keep u posted... Till then!
VP :)