Take a sad song and make it better

The first big concern for me when I decided to work towards having my poetry published was what if no one liked it!  This worry gave me “two insomnias” --- sleepless nights and restless daydreams ---quite contradictory to the “quiet happiness” I was searching for. But somehow it also made me put in my best effort just so that some random people from my school and college who did not understand me back then, might read my writings someday and regret their behaviour!!!  I know, this sounds negative. But something about vengeance works in rare positive ways as a driving force to bring out the peak of your capacities.

I have many secret readers on my wish list --- one brutally insensitive employer, a bunch of haughty mean college mates who made me feel like a lower life form, a discouraging school teacher … to name a few. Today, I want to thank them all. If they had not uttered those unkind statements, I would not have pushed myself into playing my song and sharing my story with conviction and without care.

One thing our ‘perfectly lovable’ education system fails to teach is that competition has to be with your own self and not with others. That way the only one who can judge you is yourself.

Many pieces of advice that were not understood in childhood now seem to fit like a jigsaw puzzle in my head.  I don’t know if I am getting it right; if I am doing it well enough. I don’t know if they are reading…if they comprehend and appreciate what I write. All I know is that I hope to continue writing, dreaming and just living life the way I imagined.

Agreed, the aching times, the bad hair days , the depressed journeys back home , that  New Millennium evening spent alone at home in pyjamas like a couch potato and the “does anyone care ” phase still give me goose bumps. But I guess we all have to go through the caterpillar and the chrysalis stages to finally be the butterfly we wish to be!

~ Thanks Beatles for the ever appropriate lyrics. This is why I became a Beatles fan!