IT Trap

Task        : To “just”get 5 A3 colour copies of the concept design report printed and bound …in like an hour!

Hurdle 1 : The printer on this floor is not working(as always)

Hurdle 2 : Sending it out for printing is frowned upon as apparently it costs a bomb (say 25 bucks maximum!)

With exasperation, I call the IT guy who by the way, loves to talk about cricket, food, weather and the colour of my eyes more than my current printing fiasco.

Me       : The document is not getting printed.

IT guy  :  Why?

Me       : I dont know...
             (Arent you supposed to tell me that!)
IT guy  : Is it too big?

Me       : How much is “too big” for the printer?

IT guy  : Oh its an awesome printer and can take upto 100 MB (along with 10 people photocopying and scanning all at the same time) But still reduce the file size and then print…

Me      : Its much lesser than that, but ‘to be on the safer side’,I try the famous file reduction process (from what I know) and after 25 minutes it gets reduced by 2 KB! Oh wow!

But of course its still not printing….

IT guy  : Oh the file must be corrupt…Why is it corrupt?

Me       : I really dont know...
             (Again, YOU are supposed to find out!)

IT guy  : Restart your system…

Me      : The computer has already done that …twice!..Fatal error …and then rebirth! Or reincarnation!

IT guy :  Oh then it’s the software…is it licensed?

Me      :  Believe you me, I dont know
            (Yet again, *$$#@ you can answer that better!!!)

Meanwhile all the people around the printer have gathered like there has been an accident…or like there is a 50% off sale.

“Try another printer” (Oh really… the one that has a permanently dried cartridge??!!)

“Try restarting your computer…the problem lies therein”…(ya right, even the crying baby in the next building will now tell me to restart the system!)

Me    : So I guess I am supposed to figure out the “problem” with “my“computer!..when it’s NOT MY ##@*$$ freakin expertise!!!

Finally, with all my limited IT knowledge, I convert the damn file to separate jpegs and print…for several hours without food and water…and then the best part --- I accept the kind offer from the binding”expert”...AND HE BINDS IT ON THE WRONG SIDE!!! Arrrggggh…